What a harsh, vile and grievous remark devoid of sympathy, empathy and compassion. It is a simplistic and shallow view, hostile to those struggling with social isolation, mental disorders and being without friends.
Friends are not property. Friendship is a two-way relationship between two human beings: yourself, and someone else. It is for this simple reason that one might argue for "not deserving" to have friends if you are too incapable of making friends on your own:
not because the person intrinsically is without sufficient merit to deserve friends, but because
extrinsically the person will be creating a one-sided relationship with somebody else, and a one-sided relationship
isn't true friendship.
In any stable relationship, whether it's marriage, friendship, or employment, there
must be mutual respect between the two parties. If there isn't, then (logically) it must mean that one party does not respect the other party enough or that the other party respects the first party too much. A lop-sided relationship like this is not only unstable in the long run but can also prove to be harmful emotionally, mentally, and (sometimes) physically to either party involved.
I'll cut to the chase with a specific example: suppose we have ourselves a textbook Densha Otoko, an otaku who is
so socially-awkward around others that he has very few friends and no romantic partners whatsoever. Suppose our man Densha wants to get laid, and suppose he aspires to make more friends. There is nothing wrong with those goals. And there may be nothing wrong with our man Densha as far as his humanity, as far as his gentle spirit is concerned. But! If he hopes to "be friends" or "be lovers" with another human being and to continue to exist as he currently does, then he is either being stubborn about behavior modification or else he is deluded: because
it is not a genuine friendship or romance when one of the two people is a meek leech. "Leech" may sound like a harsh word, but isn't that the blunt fact of the matter? Super-super-introverted people tend to suck the life out of parties or social outings and they give back very little in return. It doesn't make them bad human beings, but it
does make them poor friends. Friendship -- and mutual respect -- is about compromise, is about give and take. You can't always be take take taking or give give giving.
And that's what the super-shy nerd does: he attempts to "take take take" from socially-exuberant scenarios without giving back, either because he is uncomfortable with giving back (e.g. too embarrassed to act) or because he is incapable of doing so.
For the record, though: aqua is a man after my own heart in that
he tells it like it is, or at least he tells it as he best knows it to be. Maybe he tells it wrong sometimes. Don't we all? But he's bluntly honest. If you're offended by his lack of tact, I guess I'd say you have every right to be offended. "Harsh," "devoid of compassion," these words honestly do do a good job of summing up some of his replies in this thread. But you know something? They describe me, too! XD And I'd rather have the harsh truth than a soft lie. And personally (and I know I'm in the minority, from personal experience in my own real-world life from the cradle on up to today) I'd rather have the
harsh truth than the
soft truth. Let's cut through all the bullshit and be honest, candid, and call things for what they really are.
Blessed are those, in my eyes, who can accept the harshest of truths and dish them back out. It's not about being coarse or cold-hearted:
it's about respecting another human being's humanity -- about his search for truth in this world.