That's true. It happens every time when I try to find old/new M/S AVs & its really annoying. But Its inevitable to choose if it comes with new plot/scenario.I get the nurturing dynamic for M/S, and I think that's kinda why my favorite pairing is older sister/younger brother, since it has the same vibes sometimes. The one thing that really bugs me about a lot of M/S vids is that very often the guys are just too old looking to pass off as a son for whoever his mother is supposed to be. It's such a boner killer.
It's not too much of a problem that exists with the older actresses. And the really egregious ones I just ignore. But the ones on the borderline are most frustrating. Kana Morisawa, for example, is an actress who I'm definitely willing to see as a porn mom. She'd be on the young mom side, but it's incest porn, so you have to be willling to suspend disbelief a little bit. But in turn she should always be paired with a younger looking actor or else it's just kinda stupid XD I know the logistics of casting and filming probably make this difficult, but that's just how I feel.
For me, Ex:
[Young mom] Anri okita look like young/step mom when paired with shotas, but not with grown young actors. [look like B/S].
[Old mom] Chisato shoda look like old mom [GM/GS] with shotas & mom with young actors.
[Mom] Ririko kinoshita, the perfect mom with shotas & step mom with some young actors.
I feel first two are in their borderline as you said, too young & too old for M/S incest.
& third one has 40~45 face & mature body, mostly suits M/S incest. Sadly, I have seen there are few actress with similar features.
M/S [4:2] - My general rule,
Mom - beautiful mature face, medium built physical features, but not skinny or chubby.
Son - lower body mass than Mom, cute young face, hairless skin. Mostly skinny boys.
I feel lucky with [myrule mymovie].