what advice would you give asian foreigners for getting into these sexual places? were not really welcome i know, but many times, theres multiple snack, bar, club,cabaret, and sometimes its not so easy to differentiate. i live in nagano so its not like tokyo where its gaijin friendly. i am a bit hesitant to talk to the tout or just go right in to any sexual place. ive tried to use my beginner japanese but sooner or later, my english comes out. also, the dialect of regular japanese people is quite different from what im being taught in school, also they speak quite fast....so i just be upfront but i feel thats like shooting yourself in the foot as it gives them a reason to reject you immediately. if anything, i just want to improve my real life japanese skills in these settings, bars. i already go to a language cafe for english but i ALSO want to meet real japanese girls that aren't interested in foreigners or english. after all, the only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it. and they don't teach you this japanese in class. i don't think im bad looking, dress nicely and ive got a little bit of extra money to spend so i just need a little help with my language confidence and fear of the unknown. i have no problems going into these places where english is spoken. advice anyone? thanks.
Do you have any Japanese friends, co-workers, or acquaintances? Try getting into their social circles and meeting their friends (hopefully a few are girls) and go from there. That has helped me a decent amount, not just with meeting girls, but also getting better at speaking and understanding, especially with regional dialects. Also, that's
you going to
them, not the other way around, so it's safe to assume they are not fetishizing your foreignness.
Another option (I'm not sure how common they are in Nagano) is living in a sharehouse. Again,
you are going to
them, and the people who live there are usually pretty open because that's the premise of a sharehouse. It gets you a lot of speaking time with them, and if you don't understand what they are saying, they will more than likely accommodate you for a lack of Japanese skill since you live under the same roof. It would be dickish for them not to do so. This can be fun especially if you're in your 20s or 30s, as sharehouses are starting to boom across Japan.
As far as the sexual places you're talking about, yeah it's awkward, but just be upfront. Some places you can even call on the phone, and you can ask in Japanese: "are foreigners okay here?" It will save you time and embarrassment. I'd also recommend (maybe a little obvious) learning the lingo for possible situations you might get into at these kinds of places. Practice ahead of time what you're gonna say. I went to a soap in Tokyo (I know, not Nagano), and despite my limited language skill at the time, they were very accommodating (no English spoken). Places like that are of course hit and miss with foreigners, though.
If you get into a situation where you want to resort to English, just bite the bullet and try to force yourself into using Japanese, however shitty it might come off as (they may not even understand in English anyway). It's embarrassing, but they understand that you are a foreigner and are not fluent. You need to make mistakes to get better.
Again, I hope this helps, even though it's from a white male perspective. -.-
I know it can sometimes be rough for Asian foreigners.
