Shy Guys, How to Ever have Great SX?

[josolopSon3]

We shy guys, don't even have female friends, and many of us have never had a GF. It's like an unreachable dream, and yet we love sex and hope we can have it.

Actualy, i've even fantasized about having it with 2 girls at once. But i'm just a shy guy, and there is no way i can find a GF unless i pay for strippers. I'm not looking for strippers or casual stuff, i need a real relationship so the SX wil be special.

Oh and since this site is about JAV, i'll add that I also like japanese girls. So that's even harder. Most japanese women that come to the USA want to meet outgoing dudes with game. I'm just a sensitive shy guy , so it seems really impossible.

I've had Japanese voice chats in chat programs. Many times awesome conversations, but in chat and voice chat i can express myself and be myself. I'm not good at being my self when i actually meet the person in real life.

Any tips?? i'm in my late 20's.

 

[gaggermager1]

I'we had the same experience as you when I was a teenager. I would rather call it socially handicapped or social phobia. I'm still a shy person but have managed to pull of some ONS. It's a big diffirence between being shy and standing quiet in a corner lookinig at the floor.

To get rid of that "fear" of taking contact and have conversations with girls or people in general took a while but it gave results. What I started with was to contact girls over the internet through non-romantic topics and started to write to eatch other on msn or e-mail. If someone block you from msn it's completely normal. But there will always be someone who genuinly likes chatting with you but it might take a long time. (I talked with a girl who became my first girlfriend over 1 year on msn before we first met!)
When you feel ready for it, ask her to talk with voice chat with or without webcam. This is only for making you more comfortable with talking with a girl and look at her at the same time. The more girls you do it with, the more comfortable you will get and easier to continue with a conversation.
If I understood right, you don't have so much problem with having a voice chat with girls which is good. The next step is to ask them out.

It hasn't have to be a date. It can be just for friendship. For example if you both like boats, you can go to a boat museum or something equivalent. Since you've been chatting/talking alot before you meet, you will feel less shy about it or, it won't be as scary. Try to do this as much as possible and eventually you'll feel like a better person and more confident. When you are more confident, asking for a date and hitting on girls will come natural.
Good luck.

Ps. About scoring with girls with special preferences is a bit too advanced for you at this moment. Save that for later. I'd suggest to start low and go to higher levels when you know you can. Ds.

 

[ibarrz]

you need a bad guy friend with u so he can help u on that..

 

[jupiter999]

Hi, josolopSon3
I'm exactly the same as you, OMG:defeat:
But I don't fantasized about 2 girls at once:dunno: One is pretty good already...
A girl just like my avatar:XD:
I'm 27 already, never have a girlfriend yet as well...
I'm such a failure:murder:

 

[serlibre]

it's hard you know but to think that even the people in the jail most of them have a girlfriend or married giveme hope

 

[serlibre]

oh i forgot im 28 years old soon 29(in june 5)

 

[kbryc08]

Why can't a shy guy get a girlfriend? Just because you're shy doesn't mean you can't get some and that negative thinking doesn't help you at all. I don't think you were having awesome voice chats the first time you started doing that, the same would apply to socializing with girls.

Put yourself in a situation that would let you socialize with girls and keep on doing it. Then once socializing becomes easy and you can start thinking about improving your game. A few obvious situations would be parties and hanging out with friends who have female friends (lol). Some other situations you can take advantage of are your routine chores such as grocery shopping, clothes shopping, going to the bank, etc. Strike up a conversation with your lady cashier, bank teller or whoever. Even if it's a simple hello, how are you.

Like gaggermager1 said, the more you do it the easier it becomes. There will be awkward situations, but that's part of the learning process. You'll probably hear a lot of things about how to get girls but the one thing that nearly everyone agrees on is confidence. Believe in yourself! I will leave you with this quote.

"Are you a mexi-can or a mexi-can't?" - Once Upon a Time in Mexico

 

[Ceewan]

Been there done that

nice comments kbryc08.

I had my shy period, I suppose I still have some social issues but who doesn't?

If you don't want to be a shy guy then seek to change. It is just a form of fear, being shy. The only way to get rid of it, to change, is to face it. Put youself in social situations and I mean mixed social situations. I don't mean in order to get laid, sex is great, no argument there, but you need to get comfortable associating with other people and the opposite sex. The last thing you want is to become some meek, weak willed guy some girl can push around because she puts out. You have to protect yourself from that because there are lazy women who will take advantage of a guy and trust me, you don't want that.

After you put youself in some social circles, maybe some part-time college classes or church functions or something along those lines. Then take the leap when you start to get a little more confidence and go hunting for some girls. But don't hunt in the new social circles, go elsewhere. Go to bars or clubs and drink soda or coffee and find girls who are looking for what you are looking for, sex. Girls enjoy sex and actively seek partners. You would not believe the confidence you get from some one night stands. It can be a mutually satisfying and enlightening experience. So much so that some guys never want to get tied down to a serious relationship. You can be that guy. If after playing the field in your spare time you still are looking for a serious relationship, you will have no problem finding one. Probably some girl in one of the social circles you have been involved in has been secretly lusting for you and has noticed the change in confidence in you, maybe one of your one night stands is just to good to pass up on a regular basis and something real and deep occurs.

Regardless, get some more experience under your belt or some girl is going to make life living hell for you. Finding the right fit for you takes work and it takes courage. You can't just hang out with any girl, have sex with her, and be happy. I wish it was that easy, for some lucky few it might be but don't count on it.

 

[reyoasian]

I'm assuming you are white? To me, this "shy" thing is really just a personality. Some people are born natural outgoing, some are not. I was kind of shy before, but after each girlfriend I've always become more confident, and things got easier and more smooth. So really, "shyness" isn't permanent; you can definitely grow out of it. It just takes time and practice, you just need something to set you off then you will be good to go.

Since you are in your 20's, I'd suggest going to bars and clubs and get some alcohol in your system to begin with. Guys definitely got more balls when they're tipsy. Then maybe it will give you a little more courage to start up a conversation.

Have you watched The Big Bang Theory? It's about a group of friends (scientists) and one of them cannot talk to a girl no matter what, unless he has a bit of alcohol in his system. Like, he can't even look at a girl and say "hi". Yeah I know it's just a show but I guess it's just an exaggerated version of reality right?

 

[kamenramen]

Mate, you need to tear down this nice, sensitive side and bury it. I was the same when i was younger, but once i started forcing myself out more, putting myself into new unfamiliar situations i eventually came out of my shell.

Couple of things, join a gym, regular exercise has two benefits, 1) it'll help you look good, never a bad thing, and 2) It boosts you're self confidence no end, something from the look of your post you could seriously do with.

Take up some hobbies that get you out there, looking for advice on the internet only gets you so far, i for example got involved with some of the societies that run at my local university (i'm not a student at the university, i just use their services ), there's a dance society i'm involved with, gymnastics and art societies as well, a few years ago something like this would of terrified me, now i can't think of my life without these weekly events.

An added bonus of the societies is they regularly have social events where we go out to clubs or whatever so you've got a large group of mates backing you up, if i'm out talking to some girl and she shoots me down i can just go back to my group and laugh it off, then maybe i'll try again later if i see someone else i like.

Like i say, kill this nice sensitive side, it's unattractive, they'll always be a strong, confident guy who'll be a lot more attractive to the girl you're interested in, find some interests that get you out there and give you something interesting to talk about while you're chatting to a potential girlfriend.

 

[Murdoc2k]

wow... I've been stuck in this "nice guy" phase for about 5 years. I'm in my early 20s and I'm starting to come out of this phase. It's really hard to come out of that shell as you guys describe but I totally understand it's necessary. Sometimes if you don't do it yourself, you just won't grow.

I'm attending university right now and I've actually took a step forward by taking a deep breath and talking to two attractive girls that I am interested in. Eventually I realized that I like one more than the other and so I've managed to stay friends with the less preferred while attempting to pursuit the one I think I like most right now. To me, it's a win win situation.

I find that when you do start to reach the confidence level where you can start talking to girls without starring at their tits or thinking about doing them that not only can you learn more about them you can actually start to feel a connection with them (at a friend level) more than a lover. You will also start to like her outside of physical attraction which drives you even crazier. A word of advice is to progress step by step. I've made a slight bad move at the beginning by jumping a head of myself. I'm in a 50/50 situation right now cause I rushed things a little and I think I might've scared the girl I like a bit =S It's a painful lesson but I've learned it the hard way. Hopefully you guys (who are trying to get to this stage) won't have to go through the same problem that I did.

PS: I've also thought about joining more social activities as kamenramen have stated. The problem with most of us on the web (and most of us who consume porn excessively) is that we are stuck by the computer too much and thus we have nothing to share when we meet these girls.

 

[HarutoAsou]

I feel like contributing, not to assist the OP but everyone else that may need it.

Girls do not like nice guys, that is the first thing. I don't care if she is your best friend and she says she likes nice guys, she's lying. Girls THINK they like nice guys, but why? Well because they won't pressure them into a relationship so they can stay friends, that's why. If you glue your nuts back on and be more assertive you can and will get a GF.

When I first came to Vancouver I had 3 friends living here and they didn't live near me. So what I did is I went out on the streets with said friends and picked up atleast one girl a day. After two weeks I had more than I knew what to do with (yeah, it's a bit excessive but it does make it a lot easier to talk to girls) and now I'd say 90% of my friends are girls and I like it that way.

I know exactly what shy guys are going through because my room mate (a friend of 7 years) is the same. We were walking on the street and there was a harem of Japanese girls so I told him to go talk to them (he's 24yo and never had a GF, never kissed, never even hugged a girl). To my surprise he did walk up and talk to her so I started to talk to her friends while eavesdropping on him. After he finished talking to her he was just like "ummm...okay, bye" and I whispered "ask for her phone number." He asked but she had only been here for 2 weeks so didn't have one and he was about to walk away again and I was like "ask for her e-mail." So he asked her and...well she asked for HIS e-mail and never did mail him, but still, it was practice for him. Don't just "talk" to girls, make a move.

 

[scarletsnow]

I'm a nice guy and plenty of girls have wanted me. I see nice guys everywhere with girlfriends and wives.
However if you want an alpha female you have to indeed behave like an alpha male. But most females prefer not to live in a harem, so they will settle for less than an alpha. Some might not even want an alpha male.

Usually there is a female for every male. An alpha male for an alpha female, beta for beta and omega for omega. There are plenty of single omega females though who will only settle for an alpha male; forget about them, let them find a harem.

The problem for love-shy males is that they are romantically passive. This is not a problem for females because most of them are and most men are romantically active. It is plain statistics; the odds that a romantically active female will pursue a romantically passive male are just small. They are both a minority, However these females can also get into relationships with the abundantly present romantically active males and are likely to, because they do not only pursue but are being pursued.

And forget about having balls. Almost every men has testicles; it is not an accomplishment. They just grew, like apples on a tree, while you were sucking your thumb, deep inside the vagina of your mother. World peace or a university degree is an accomplishment, neither requires testicles.

People come in every color of the rainbow; infinite shades of sexuality, gender identities and gender roles. You don't have to be a romantically active macho. If you're for example a romantically passive metro and you pretend to be macho; you'll only end up with a female that does not want the real you and one you don't really want.

It is not that hard to get an omega girlfriend, just don't expect them to ring your doorbell; you have to get out there. Twice passive will not work so you have to make some moves, unless you just want to wait around looking all hot for those few pursuing females. And if you want a beta or even alpha you have to step your game up. Also alcohol, marijuana, vacations, the right situation and mood work wonders to get females to lower their shields.

Having single, male friends is also great as they can be your wingmen and also introduce you to girls they know. Get rid of any friends that are cockblockers though. A friend like HarutoAsou would be great, if you're nice to him he might even introduce you to his sister.

 

[gaggermager1]

I'm a shy and nice guy and I get laid.

There are many girls that like shy guys.

The problem is that the definition of "shy" vary alot. Usually when girls say that they like shy guys they don't mean someone who is standing in a corner, quiet and staring at the floor. They mean someone who doesn't come and "snatch" her wailing "HEY BABY!"

Basicly a "shy guy" is a guy that approach them in a less agressive, boasting fashion.

It works well as long as you're not afraid of showing interest in the girl.

 

[joker_face]

1. Read "The Game" by Neil Strauss - good for guidelines
2. Dress well
3. Weak Law of Large Numbers; gotta be willing to get shot down (a lot) to get laid

 

[jmenaxs]

dude relax man i m an Asian chinese 1st you need to be friend with some guy who is popular among the girls that should be a pretty good start then work thing form there ^.^ hope tat helps its work for me thou 18 not Vi_gn

 

[HarutoAsou]

dude relax man i m an Asian chinese 1st you need to be friend with some guy who is popular among the girls that should be a pretty good start then work thing form there ^.^ hope tat helps its work for me thou 18 not Vi_gn

So you basically use other people to compensate for you inability to get pussy? That's pretty weak man.

 

[josolopSon3]

well guys i'm getting pussy soon. so no problem!!!

i found a new Japanese GF and we'll fk soon

Well not soon, because it's a long distance relationship

 

[HarutoAsou]

well guys i'm getting pussy soon. so no problem!!!

i found a new Japanese GF and we'll fk soon

Well not soon, because it's a long distance relationship

Doesn't matter JackOffALot because you are already fucking 2 girls every night anyways right? That's what you said in your other post.

 

[Murdoc2k]

1. Read "The Game" by Neil Strauss - good for guidelines
2. Dress well
3. Weak Law of Large Numbers; gotta be willing to get shot down (a lot) to get laid

Great recommendation! I've been changed by this post. Thank you.