The Princess and the Pauper

Sakunyuusha

New Member
Jan 27, 2008
1,855
3
The Princess & The Pauper

Two beautiful girls who look identical. One is the princess, the other is the daughter of a very poor family who live in the castle town. The two girls meet one day, discover that each is sick and tired of her life, and agree to switch places. The story then follows the princess-turned-pauper. Let's call the princess Sayumi and the peasant Ayumi. And let's suppose that both girls have just turned 17 years old.

Sayumi dons Ayumi's rags and heads back to her new home in the slums. When she arrives, she is eager to meet her new family, but is gruffly greeted by her new parents. Her mom asks what took so long (Ayumi had been sent grocery shopping) and her dad tells her to get a move on or she's gonna be late for work. Sayumi doesn't want to blow her cover of course, so she merely nods her head and follows her two younger sisters out the door.

Keiko is the middle sister, age 15. She's like the token "library girl" -- she wears glasses, has long dark hair, is tall and slender, etc. Ai is the youngest sister, age 14. She has twin ponytails, one on each side, and is rather shapely for her age. She's the energetic type who's always got a big-mouthed, bright-eyed smile on her face.

Sayumi follows Keiko-chan and Ai-chan down the street. She has no clue where they're headed, of course. Neither Keiko nor Ai recognize that this is not their sister Ayumi, but they do notice that something seems to be wrong, and they ask Sayumi if she's feeling okay, did she hit her head or something, etc. Those sorts of things.

When the girls lead Sayumi down a disgusting, dark alleyway, she asks them what's going on. They look at their sister, puzzled, and say, "What are you talking about, Nee-chan?" Besides, they tell her: we're almost there. At the end of the alley is a dilapidated building with a thick, wooden door in front. Keiko knocks on the door three times, a visor slides open, two mean eyes peer out at the girls, the visor slams shut, and the door opens.

It looks sort of like a shady pub or a tavern of some sort. Sayumi's creeped out. But Keiko looks calm and Ai looks happy as ever. "Gidou-san!" she calls out. Giggling, she skips over towards a large, bearded, muscly man ... she jumps squarely onto his lap ... and she gives him the sluttiest kiss Sayumi's ever seen.

Sayumi begins to put two and two together as she witnesses not just Ai-chan but Keiko-chan as well having sex with the patrons of this bar. It follows the usual formula (fellatio and paizuri first, followed by cunnilingus, followed by vaginal penetration, followed by anal + oral penetration), and Sayumi can do nothing but simply watch, frozen in horror by what she's seeing: these dirty old men are raping her new sisters! Except ... it's not r*** ... it's ... something much worse ...

Sayumi bolts for the door. A man shouts after her -- "AYUMI!" -- but she rips it open and flees down the alley, running as if her life depended on it. Lost and confused, she wonders where home is. She thinks she remembers and begins to run down a familiar street. Eventually, she makes her way back home (good memory, girl!). Mom's nowhere to be seen, but there's Dad, sitting at the family's only table.

Before he knows what's hit him, Sayumi launches into her tirade. She demands an explanation from "Father" what all this nonsense is about. How can he prostitute his own daughters out like this? How sick do you have to be to do something like that? What a lowlife!

As she keeps ranting at him, Dad's patience wears thinner and thinner until finally he loses it. He gets up from the table, the chair flying back behind him, and menacingly approaches Sayumi. "I think you need to be taught a lesson, Ayumi."

He grabs at Sayumi's blouse and tugs it down, exposing one of her breasts. Sayumi shrieks. Dad interrupts the shrieking with a kiss. Sayumi pulls back in disgust. "Just what do you think you're doing?" she asks him. But Dad overpowers her and begins to r*** Sayumi. (Uh-oh!)

She struggles at first, but as happens in all the classics, she begins to wonder why her body feels good down there. What's with all these juices? Why is she tingling down there? Why, when this is so wrong, does she feel so good? Dad's fingering her vagina, groping her boob, and slobbering all over her mouth. Then, he stops. Sayumi asks him why he's stopping. He says that if she wants it, she needs to learn to show respect. "It's not 'Mr. Kimura,'" he tells her. "It's 'Otou-sama,' you bitch. Now say it!" And she manages a feeble "Otou-sama." Then he tells her, "Say, 'I want your dick inside me.'" Sayumi, confused and sobbing, chokes out, "I want Otou-sama's dick inside me" Then he says, "And it's not 'me', Ayumi. It's 'Ayumi'. Say your name! Say it properly!" So she repeats, "Ayumi wants Otou-sama's big, thick cock inside Ayumi's juicy, slutty pussy!"

"Good girl," he says. And he rewards her. Begin second act of this sex scene, wherein Sayumi -- now truly reborn as Ayumi -- is enjoying every minute of this. Off go her clothes. She's sucking on him, he's sucking on her, she's fucking him, he's fucking her, it's a big slutty sex scene.

Third to last page = the obligatory big orgasm page.

Second to last page = we see Mom talking to Dad at the family table. Just the two of them. Mom says to Dad, "Anata, how can you send Ayumi to work when she's 8 months pregnant?" Dad chuckles and says, "It's not me, dear! Ayumi said she wanted to do it! And besides, it's money, ain't it? The guys love Ayumi, too." "Oh, Anata," Mom chastises.

Last page = we see Sayumi (now living under the name "Ayumi"). Her tongue is lolled out. Her eyes rolled up a little. Her belly is big: she's pregnant. She's riding one man's cock while giving hand jobs to two other men. Out loud, she's moaning and begging for cum. Her internal dialogue is the last thing the reader sees. Sayumi says that she's finally discovered true happiness in life.

© me.
 

Sakunyuusha

New Member
Jan 27, 2008
1,855
3
So, I guess you guys deserve an explanation ...

I've been meaning to write doujinshi for a long time, right? Well, after almost being brought to tears :p by Sdeo's beautiful fan commission for me, I decided to sit my ass down and to pen a skeleton doujin.

This was my first idea for a doujin that I just wrote up. It's an obvious parody of Mark Twain's classic tale, The Prince and the Pauper in which the Prince of Wales switches lives with a poor young man in London. Tell me what you guys think. Maybe this idea's been done before? If it has been, I didn't know. And if it's been done exactly like this, then not only would that really surprise me, but I'd also like to see it for myself. XD

Anyway, I don't know if it will appeal to everybody. Obviously it's on the darker side of the fence. It features r***, prostitution, impregnation, and incest (although the incest is purely psychological -- Sayumi-hime and Mr. Kimura aren't related genetically, after all). The art style I pictured in my head while writing this story out was Amano Ameno's, and he's obviously a very dark writer. But I hope that most people will think that it sounds like it could be hot.

Here's the deal: I can't draw for shit. I'd like to change that. But in the mean time, if you're an artist and you're interested in drawing pictures for this story, let me know and I can write specific character dialogue (and a cel-by-cel storyboard for you) and we could make a doujin together.
 

gakido

ヒガンバナ
Apr 2, 2007
202
0
Hehe, sound like something I'd like really check out. Hope you can find some help and accomplish this. XD Gooey and messy please~ GO GO GO Sakun. lol.
 

reingiolt

二マ...
Feb 27, 2007
1,114
0
not that the age matters but wouldn't it be better if they were older? it'd solve that "all chars depicted in this work are over 18" thingy and u aren't planning on making any loli chars ryt?

i too can't draw for shit. i've bought one of those how to draw manga books before but it was still no use. i have absolutely no artistic talents :abandoned:
 

xeruel

黒英雄伝説
Mar 22, 2008
591
2
hahaha, I hold some design & art degree and still can't draw really well,I can copy drawings well but not drawing some manga especially when perspective come into play. I can draw full bodies from front and side but when playing an angle in human anatomy I got confused, now whats the majority of a hentai manga draws ? :XD:

I guess Limited Artistic talent can't help either :lols:

however if its about cleaning and typesetting existing manga could be done as long someone can provide the translation......
 

Ceewan

Famished
Jul 23, 2008
9,151
17,033

Sakunyuusha

New Member
Jan 27, 2008
1,855
3
Rein, Ceewan: what's with all this talk of loli? You guys know I don't like loli. Apparently we have very different ideas of what 17, 16, and 15 years of age means for a girl when it comes to the world of hentai. Loli? Just because she's one year younger than 18? Most definitely not. Observe.
 

reingiolt

二マ...
Feb 27, 2007
1,114
0
i know that's how u envisioned them and that u dnt like loli, that's why i said " u aren't planning on making any loli chars ryt?". i just meant to say that if you're gonna have them look like that i see no need to give them such low ages. it's like asking for trouble from the law
 

Sakunyuusha

New Member
Jan 27, 2008
1,855
3
A, I wasn't intending to formally give them ages in the finished work. I was trying to help the reader envision how old/young they are since there aren't any pictures to go off of. I know as well as the next guy that fans like to be able to interpret age for themselves. Guys like me who don't care for loli will see a girl and say "she's 15, she's in high school," like the one I just showed you. Guys who like loli will look at the exact same girl and say, "she's 13, she's in middle school." Guys who really hate loli will look at the princess and say, "She's 20." I'll look at her and say 17-19. Somebody else will look at her and say 15. By not specifying an age, you can please a wider audience.

B, they have to be in that age range because of several factors. [hide]

First, it doesn't make sense for a princess to still be sexually inexperienced if she's a married woman. It doesn't make sense for her to be unmarried if she's seen as an adult. And it doesn't make sense for her to not be seen as an adult if she's 18 years old or older. Yes, there are plenty of real-life princesses who are in their mid-20s, but most of them aren't virgins. Most of them have husbands. That wouldn't have fit in with this story.

I'll put it to you this way:
Code:
If 18, then adult.
If adult, then marriageable.
If princess and marriageable, then wed.
If wed, then no longer a virgin.
If no longer a virgin, then no discovery of the pleasures of sex when being r***ing by Ayumi's father.

Conclusion: since she was experiencing the pleasures of sex for the first time at that time, she must not be 18 years old.

Second, it doesn't make sense for a father to have control over his daughters -- to the point that he can prostitute them out to the locals -- if they're adults. Sure, a man can manipulate an adult woman, definitely. But it makes much more sense in this story if it's a "Dad telling his daughters what to do" schtick than it does if it's "the clan elder telling the clanswomen what to do," you know what I mean? So what this meant is that the daughters had to be young.

Third, I wanted the princess to be the oldest daughter. This required her sisters to be younger than her.

Fourth, I dislike loli. This required me to place the daughters ages within a believably close range.

Hence, 17, 15, and 14. I could have done 17, 16, and 15, sure. Maybe I would consider that for a readjustment to the ages. But it still wouldn't address your concern.

So, finally: in the finished story, there'd be absolutely no reason to declare the girls ages. Ever. They're paupers, so they don't go to school. The dirty old men aren't going to be able to make comments like "high school girls are so nice." The best they'll be able to do is say things like "young ones are the best." That could mean anything. When would the girls ages be printed? Only at the time that she's walking down the street with the sisters, when the author is doing their character introductions for the reader. But normally in doujinshi, they do this by saying things like so-and-so is a 女子〇生, where the circle is a self-imposed censor used to protect the author from any legal repercussions. And it wouldn't make any sense for me to do that here since, like I said before, these girls don't go to school period.[/hide]
 

Ceewan

Famished
Jul 23, 2008
9,151
17,033
No, I was meaning to infer anything loli, an artist is an artist, they like to draw. From what I understand hands are the hardest thing, tits and age should be no problem. Yimi is accomplished and talented. The fact that he enjoys drawing lolicon does not in slightest mean that is all he enjoys drawing. Just like the fact that I enjoy lolicon does not mean that is all I enjoy. Of course I could be wrong about him but I'll ask him and point him to this thread myself to see if he is interested. I was just trying to help, that is what friends do.

:)