There is a "script"of the position they will perform, even for gonzo scenes. Because the director has to check how he will shoot the scene, from what angle...
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And there are many cuts in one scene. That's one of the reasons the actor seems to last a long time. Video editing will then make the scene look smooth for the viewer.
In real life, physical appearance aside, when you're looking for a serious relationship, the personality matter a lot. A girl can be super hot, if she's dumb as fuck or has a shitty personality, it will not work. And porn actresses are very often girls with issues, so, there are many other girls in the society, smart and attractive, that would be a far better match.
And which girls are you referring to ? Girls like Suzumura Airi, Yatsugake Umi, Honjou Suzu, Himesaki Hana, Matsumoto Ichika, Tsubomi or Miura Sakura look like any pretty girl you can see walking around. For some others like Julia or Anri Okita, you'll probably be shocked to see them without all the makeup and social media filters, and not find them hot anymore.
Well, if they keep it quiet, when a bus or train is packed, there is so much noise and everything that you aren't aware of what's going on 2meters away
(high school memories). And in my country, nobody gives a fuck if someone is getting robbed, attacked, as long as it's not them, they'll pretend nothing happened lol.
And those JAV movies are just for fun, it's not supposed to be real (even if chikan exists and is a real problem. They are recording or groping girls, not fucking them).
Those girls with old dudes are there because they're paid (escorts) or will received something in return (girls looking for easy money, fame).