To cheat or not to cheat on the missus

[jigenbakuda]

I have a very interesting situation (which doesn't matter for the most part), but I am wanting to know you guys perspectives on cheating.

Now I love my girlfriend... I really do, I would not want to live with any other girl (so far). But.... I see so many other chicks I want to fuck.Hawt, horny, emotionally unconnected sweaty butt sex, thats what I want from those chicks. Am I wrong? Until now I have resisted fucking other girls (2 year anniversary is coming up), but am I doing it for nothing? Is it really worth it not to cheat?

The only reason I have not cheated is because I don't want to lose her... not because I can't find another chick, but because I don't want to find another girlfriend, she is good enough for me, good enough to spend the rest of my life with. But my sexual energy is muuuuuch higher than hers. I love sex with many partners (just like before I met her), but I have stopped since I've been with her. I have been faithful.

You know I once heard a joke on tv. A guy saw an old couple (like 70's) holding hands kissing, being all lubby-dubby. And the guy asked the old guy, how in the world are you so romantic and satisfied in your relationship , how do you do it? The old man turned around and said "I cheat". I laughed so hafrd at the joke, but it seemed so true to me, it seemed like the best way to be happy...

AAAAAAAAnyways, I am about to start looking for other chicks to fuck, but I want to hear other's opinions before I do anything rash.

So what do you say???

 

[ssb82]

If you want to cheat, you had better take the responsibilities of making sure you take the necessary precautions and go for regular checkups.
You not only have to answer for yourself now but your girlfriend too.

 

[Gaiarth]

I'm old enough to be pretty old-fashioned about this:

If you are in a serious relationship, you don't cheat. You've made a commitment, you stick to your word. Anything less and you aren't a man in my eyes.

If you can't manage that, then break up with her and sleep around to your hearts content.

 

[jigenbakuda]

If you want to cheat, you had better take the responsibilities of making sure you take the necessary precautions and go for regular checkups.
You not only have to answer for yourself now but your girlfriend too.

This is one of the things I enjoy about being with one chick, I don't have to worry about std's or getting other chicks pregnant. It was a major plus in my book.

@Gaiarth

That's exactly the way I felt until recently... The reason I'm faithful is because of my word, not because of inability. We are in a long distance relationship, and I'm pretty honest. I even tell her when I see women naked (I could get women to strip in my last job, lololol), although it has not happened lately

 

[butram]

Sounds like you want to eat your cake and have it too. If you are in a committed relationship you give up freedom to fuck anything that excites you for the moment. If you are single you give up that special one person to share you life with. Any commitment you make in life also comes with sacrifices, otherwise it wouldn't be called commitment.

 

[Amerikajinmusume]

I can understand finding the opposite sex attractive. It is perfectly natural for a guy (or girl) to glance at the opposite sex and have urges. But as the poster above already stated, "commitment means to give up the sexual freedoms you had while single -- otherwise it wouldn't be called commitment."

It is incredibly selfish to cheat on a significant other. What I don't understand is how you can say that you love your girlfriend and wouldn't want to live with anyone else, yet at the same time ask whether or not you should attempt to cheat on her. If you love your girlfriend and are happy in your relationship, then why do you want to cheat? If simply wanting to sow some wild oats is the only reason, then I have to say... it is a pretty damn selfish one. But since you mentioned that this is a long distance relationship, I have to wonder if there are other issues involved, such as a lack of physical contact in general with your girlfriend. Maybe you should ask yourself "why?" before "should I?" and really evaluate what you want out of this or any relationship, as well as all the factors for your present dissatisfaction.

Another thing you mentioned is that you just want to have "emotionally unconnected sex" with these other women if you do decide to cheat. Despite what others might say on this board, "emotionally unconnected sex" rarely exists. It might be unconnected to you because you only desire these women sexually, but your presuming that any of these women you liaison with will share the same emotional detachment. Women who tend to sleep around usually have emotional issues of their own.

I find it very sad that in your mind, what "seems like the best way to be happy" in a relationship is to cheat on your partner. Sex is obviously an extremely important part of any relationship, but it is by no means what one should define as their single source of happiness from it. Otherwise you're in for some serious disappointment later on down the road.

Speaking as a girl who was in a long distance relationship for several years and cheated on repeatedly, I think it is the most cowardly, selfish, and unfortunate thing that a guy can ever put a girl (or himself) through. After all is said and done and you've had your affairs, what will you do if you're still with this girl? Will you still be able to look her in the eyes knowing that she's been loyal to you while you've been sleeping around? Will you continue these affairs once you start living together and simply hope that she doesn't notice? What if you stop having the affairs, but several years down the road she finds out?

Although you might be emotionally detached from the girls you're having affairs with you will still have emotional attachment to your girlfriend (assuming you love her as you claim and have any sense of conscience or heart). that is going to be a constant source of regret and resentment for you whether or not she finds out... and even if she forgives you. This is what happened in my last relationship and what inevitably lead to it ending.

If you really value the longevity of the relationship, or even her as a human being, then you'll realize why it is a huge mistake to act on these kinds of thoughts. The fact of the matter is that this is a dilemma both girls and guys face. Guys can only come so many times before they can't go anymore. Girls sometimes aren't in the mood. Guys usually work more hours/stressful jobs and sometimes they aren't in the mood either. Sometimes neither person will be around when the other is ready/wanting. Etc. Etc. Of course it is natural to find an alternative outlet, but there is no reason why that alternative outlet should have to involve another person or infidelity.

Sorry for the long post... :sick:

 

[LTO]

I feel that you should leave your girlfriend if you really can't resist the urge to "fuck other women". As men, we all have that same urge, but the fact that you are actually considering acting on it tells me that you don't really love her as much as you claim.

Unless this girl is willing to have an "open" relationship with you, either keep your dick in your pants or leave the poor girl alone.

Would you be okay with her "fucking" other men?

 

[jigenbakuda]

Unless this girl is willing to have an "open" relationship with you, either keep your dick in your pants or leave the poor girl alone.

Would you be okay with her "fucking" other men?

Well actually we already tried that, she said she didn't like it, she said she only wants me not the other dude, she said she imagined it was me instead of the guy who fucked her. But that was a while ago.

Uhm... I have already worked my way thru this. I have decided not to cheat. But not because of anything I read here, but something my girlfriend did.

 

[butram]

Uhm... I have already worked my way thru this. I have decided not to cheat. But not because of anything I read here, but something my girlfriend did.

Well now you got us all involved, so are you going to tell us what she did?

 

[jigenbakuda]

Well now you got us all involved, so are you going to tell us what she did?

Oh well, the major part of my cheating feelings came from her close minded ness to sex and the very real possibility my sex life could be only once a month in the future. We were talking and she was like she was going to try her best to satisfy my inner sexual monster (believe me its a monster indeed), she would try to at least try sexual stuff before she said no. And most importantly she told me she wanted to try bondage, she was like, lets try more stuff except anal, lol. Well She told me, it hurts her to see me always trying so hard to make her happy and sacrificing what I like, and she never gives up anything. So she said she would try to try some more sexual stuff when we meet next time ..... spring 09...
:why::nooo::wait::runintears:

Just that little promise makes it easier to go on not fucking other chicks, so I'm straight right now, provided she keeps her word.

Oh I should mention I never brought my issues up with her. After one day I got sad after her sexual prudeness, the next day she told me that, so thats how it happened.

 

[butram]

Ahhh, well that's good to hear. Most women just don't understand the male need for sex. It's like food or water for us...A necessity of life. Most woman just need the intimacy and if they don't get it from their man can be just as satisfied with a good chick flick. Men aren't so easily satisfied so we resort to porn or cheating. Just be very careful because there is one thing that can take a womans sex drive away completely....Wedding cake LOL

 

[Amerikajinmusume]

I'm really glad to hear that things ended up working themselves out. Of course it helps that you seem to have a rather amazing girlfriend.

It just goes to show that communication and honesty in a relationship can resolve a lot of problems if both partners are mutually considerate of their needs.

As corny/sappy as that sounds... w :inlove:

 

[jigenbakuda]

Just be very careful because there is one thing that can take a womans sex drive away completely....Wedding cake LOL

Man THAT shit is scaring the fuck out of me. I heard after marriage men get no sex wut da fuk up wit dat? Is there a psychological study going on about why that happens? Scariest part about being in a relationship... especially because I have every intention to marry this chick... Maybe I should wait till 40 to get married , lol.

 

[Corkson]

In China there's an old saying. A man is like a teapot, and a woman is like a cup. Now there's a glimpse into the Asian way of looking at this question.

If you do cheat, there are rules to follow. Number 1, as always, is never tell. Never. Never tell. Period. Men get caught because they can't keep their damn mouths shut. And never fuck anybody she knows or may bump into, however briefly. And always wear a condom. And never, NEVER do it at your place. Only do it in another city or country. And only do it once with one woman--a moment of weakness is something very different from a prolonged affair.

Still seem worth it? It's actually a bit of a pain. An old navy friend of mine said it best: "Sometimes the best secret is no secret at all."

Here's a link to some stuff you might want to think about:

http://www.truthtree.com/love.shtml

 

[seiya1]

Cheat on that life support system for a pussy? Certainly.

 

[lickylicky]

Corkson is right. IF a man has no guilt and not tell and don't really care about your partner but it can be the other way around also. Burn or be Burn your choice. That reminds me I talk crazy to my girlfriend, (being truthful) she hates it cause girls don't wanna feel like they are whores. shame she wasn't a virgin when I met her. I know I know seems jealousy can't help it; it Rages me...long story short I hurt her so bad to test her, if its true love or i'm just another guy. What do u know we still together she a keeper.

Any hoot watching these JAV OMFG so beautiful even when their in 30-50's I would do them. Best Porn EVER. My friend in the Army said the prostitue in Japan looks like models maybe just like these JAV videos. I had sex with 1 girl only I do sometimes think if its any difference but don't wanna lose what I got (Very nice girl don't wanna hurt anymore).

Personally Guys I do not want to turn out like most Guys. Pussy is Pussy right? Fuck whoever u can? Paid for Service better give good Service? Treat Girls like the whore their are cause their plenty in the sea?

 

[sprk555]

If she won't find out do it. I've cheated a few times...the more i do it the less guilty i feel. after all i love her, but have a big appetite for sex.

 

[ane-san]

cheat and fuck around all you like, but if your gf does the same, don`t call her whore~

 

[Ceewan]

cheat and fuck around all you like, but if your gf does the same, don`t call her whore~

Females are not the only gender that can be considered a whore.

 

[aquamarine]

If she won't find out do it. I've cheated a few times...the more i do it the less guilty i feel. after all i love her, but have a big appetite for sex.

How does it feel switching palms?