To those who can't talk to girls...

[HarutoAsou]

what are you really afraid of? It's not really like the rejection will affect your self esteem because you don't have any and that's why you won't talk to them in the first place. Only good can come from it. If she reject you, you stay the same, if she accepts and gives you a number, you feel a helluva lot better. Remember, girls are exactly the same as guys except they are more attractive and have breasts and a vagina...what I'm trying to get at is they are just as "scared" to talk to a guy as you are to talk to them. Then there are people who grow past the age of 10 and have no problem talking to the opposite sex.

 

[bijipeler]

youre right,
but i dont want other people to see me as a desperado...
i dont care about people who dont know me, but how about my friends? they will think bad of me...

also, i dont really want to disturb some random girls...

 

[HarutoAsou]

Your friends will think badly of you because a girl rejected you? Wow, your friends sound like ass holes. I've never given my friend a hard time because a girl rejected him, I'd congratulate him for actually taking the initiative.

And as for bothering a random girl, they are exactly that, a random girl you will more than likely never see again unless you try to talk to them.

 

[Ryogasama]

Hey HarutoAsou,

are you in Korea and don't they just bitchslap a girl if she rejects in a bad manner?
or are they the ones who created the "talk to the hand" unfortunately we can't do taht where i'm at here in the states.
anyways i've had really bad rejections before, many while in discos. afterwards, i would run into the girls restroom and cry until one of security guards escourted me out of the place.
modern society has made many people overly sensitive and metrosexual.
and i don't agree women are the same as men.... men have logic.... women don't

 

[HarutoAsou]

Hey HarutoAsou,

are you in Korea and don't they just bitchslap a girl if she rejects in a bad manner?
or are they the ones who created the "talk to the hand" unfortunately we can't do taht where i'm at here in the states.
anyways i've had really bad rejections before, many while in discos. afterwards, i would run into the girls restroom and cry until one of security guards escourted me out of the place.
modern society has made many people overly sensitive and metrosexual.
and i don't agree women are the same as men.... men have logic.... women don't

I'm living in Korea but I am a Canadian and I was born and raised in Canada and I've had experiences from both sides of the world and they don't differ at all. It seems your perceptions of Korea are a couple hundred years old. If you hold yourself with confidence girls can easily see that and most will respect it and atleast talk to you if you don't act like you're a walking erection.

 

[xeffects]

Let me tell you something about girls. Men who are after girls have only one thing on their minds, nope its not what your thinking ... they just love having a girl but you simply have no idea how boring your life is when you have a girlfriend. Relationships are super HARD work. When I got into a serious relationship with my ex girlfriend ..... she always wanted to be were I was, always put limits to how much time I spent on something, I couldn't be out with friends and I couldn't even use the computer for more than 1 hour. I got sick and tired of this total domination and dedicating all my time to her and slowly she got the point and ran away but then it hurt me so bad I almost wanted to die when I lost her....I talked about this once before on here.

Anyway, the majority of folks with their girlfriends have only time for their girlfriends and that is it. The girls are the smart ones and their boyfriends are usually not smart in any subjects because all they are after is just girls .... some guys really sink their selves low when all you can think about is girls and v-jay jay.

I've had plenty of girl friends and I would rather be alone ... if I want a girl, yes I can talk to her but why am I talking to her .... they say there are girls for having fun and girls who actually want to commit to you and ACCEPTING WHO YOU ARE AND NOT TRYING TO CHANGE YOU OR YOUR LIFESTYLE.

 

[HarutoAsou]

Let me tell you something about girls. Men who are after girls have only one thing on their minds, nope its not what your thinking ... they just love having a girl but you simply have no idea how boring your life is when you have a girlfriend. Relationships are super HARD work. When I got into a serious relationship with my ex girlfriend ..... she always wanted to be were I was, always put limits to how much time I spent on something, I couldn't be out with friends and I couldn't even use the computer for more than 1 hour. I got sick and tired of this total domination and dedicating all my time to her and slowly she got the point and ran away but then it hurt me so bad I almost wanted to die when I lost her....I talked about this once before on here.

Anyway, the majority of folks with their girlfriends have only time for their girlfriends and that is it. The girls are the smart ones and their boyfriends are usually not smart in any subjects because all they are after is just girls .... some guys really sink their selves low when all you can think about is girls and v-jay jay.

I've had plenty of girl friends and I would rather be alone ... if I want a girl, yes I can talk to her but why am I talking to her .... they say there are girls for having fun and girls who actually want to commit to you and ACCEPTING WHO YOU ARE AND NOT TRYING TO CHANGE YOU OR YOUR LIFESTYLE.

Don't bash relationships because you're pussy whipped. I've NEVER had a GF who tried to control me. They never acted like my MOTHER, restricting me on how much time I can spend on the computer, seriously, WTF? You're an idiot for allowing her to have that kind of control over you. The reason you prefer to be single is because you don't know how to stick up for yourself.

 

[vietxmikey]

Yeah, if you have a girlfriend that controls your life and whatnot. You have to do something about it. Whether it's dumping her or talking to her about it. I agree with HarutoAsou. Real talk.

And uhhh, to tell you the truth. The thing about me and getting a girlfriend or talking to a girl is that I can't sense whether they are interested in me or not until I actually leave and when I think back at it. Then I'm like, "Fuck, I could of of gone out with her." Another thing is coming on too strong on them. I don't exactly know how to ask the girl without coming too strong on them.

 

[HarutoAsou]

Yeah, if you have a girlfriend that controls your life and whatnot. You have to do something about it. Whether it's dumping her or talking to her about it. I agree with HarutoAsou. Real talk.

And uhhh, to tell you the truth. The thing about me and getting a girlfriend or talking to a girl is that I can't sense whether they are interested in me or not until I actually leave and when I think back at it. Then I'm like, "Fuck, I could of of gone out with her." Another thing is coming on too strong on them. I don't exactly know how to ask the girl without coming too strong on them.

You sound like a typical guy, just be extremely flirtatious instead of coming on too strong and as long as you don't show too much interest, if they like you, they will start to drop some signs on you.

 

[thisismyname]

I can talk to them, I can get a phone number, however after that, they usually lose interest and it goes nowhere.

 

[xChubbyDollx]

You have to be "nice" without actually being "boring" and you have to possess just the right amount of arrogance without being an a-hole, and you need to show interest without being pushy or seeming desperate... :evillaugh:

Gods, I'm happy to be female...

 

[techie]

:joker:

A bit of pondering for ya all...

What would be the most insulting to a girl really???

a) She thinks you want something from her, but she's not interested and avoids you like the plague...

b) ...only to find out, you're not really interested in her at all and just chitchatting for the sake of appearance when she's the friend of your sister.

I hate having to insult people and I don't know if I should let her keep fooling herself or not.

uzzled:

 

[HarutoAsou]

:joker:

A bit of pondering for ya all...

What would be the most insulting to a girl really???

a) She thinks you want something from her, but she's not interested and avoids you like the plague...

b) ...only to find out, you're not really interested in her at all and just chitchatting for the sake of appearance when she's the friend of your sister.

I hate having to insult people and I don't know if I should let her keep fooling herself or not.

uzzled:

Stick it to her and tell her to pull her head out of her ass.

 

[lgrl]

talking to girls isnt the hard part its all the head games after the fact

 

[techie]

Stick it to her and tell her to pull her head out of her ass.

LMAO... well hmmm even if I'm not interested, perhaps it wouldn't hurt putting another head in there... That aughta teach her a lesson :sadomaso:

She aint bad looking, just ... ahem... not asian.

 

[HarutoAsou]

talking to girls isnt the hard part its all the head games after the fact

Why don't you turn it around and fuck with their head? The strange thing is, head games won't work on the girls who DON'T play them, but they will on the girls who do, so no harm done to the innocent ones.

 

[head2fat]

If you haven't yet learned to keep your nerves under control, avoid approaching really attractive girls - you know, the ones who make your heart race and your brow sweat. Instead, approach ordinary girls who don't make you nervous. You'll be able to talk to them without fear. Don't worry about making them your girlfriend or asking them out on a date. Just have fun and enjoy the interaction, and you'll be amazed at your success. If they don't seem interested, just move on to another girl. The key is to NOT give up. Eventually, you'll build up enough confidence to approach even the most gorgeous intimidating girl in the room without fear.

Just be aware that because a girl is gorgeous on the outside, she may not be so gorgeous on the inside. If after approaching her, you don't like what you see or hear, quickly but politely move on. You be the one in control, not her.

As for relationships, take a cue from a very successful friend of mine, Steve, and simply be upfront about your habits and proclivities. What I mean is, tell them early and upfront that if a pretty girl catches your eye, you're GONNA look, but it doesn't mean that she is more desirable than your girlfriend. The girlfriend may not like it, but she'll learn to accept it. And, if she can't, you negotiate. Tell her that you spend every Tuesday night with the guys, and that you want to keep it that way. Tell her if you snore or fart, and ask her if she has any problem with that. By being honest and upfront, you earn the girl's respect. And that's the best way to start a relationship.

 

[HarutoAsou]

If you haven't yet learned to keep your nerves under control, avoid approaching really attractive girls - you know, the ones who make your heart race and your brow sweat. Instead, approach ordinary girls who don't make you nervous.

That is all a matter of personal preference so there really isn't anything as an "attractive girl" by everyone's standards unless you are talking celebrities. Just because you find her hot doesn't mean she finds herself hot and gets guys handed to her. That's the kind of mindset you need to adjust to. Yes, you find her hot, but that's it, I could find her to be an "ordinary girl".

 

[Ceewan]

Don't bash relationships because you're pussy whipped. I've NEVER had a GF who tried to control me. They never acted like my MOTHER, restricting me on how much time I can spend on the computer, seriously, WTF? You're an idiot for allowing her to have that kind of control over you. The reason you prefer to be single is because you don't know how to stick up for yourself.

You have never had a girlfriend who tried to control you? Never?

You are not just dicking everyone around here are you? You have had a girlfriend before, right? I am just asking because people on the internet often pretend to be things they are not. It is that whole anonymity thing, I guess. Maybe even I have done it once or twice myself in the past. But then they say something that is totally out of left field on a subject they claim to know something about and it sets off a red warning light.

No girl is that submissive. Relationships, even good solid relationships, are full of power struggles. It is just the nature of the beast. Now you might play and retain a comfortable dominate role in a relationship but there is always give and take.

 

[HarutoAsou]

You have never had a girlfriend who tried to control you? Never?

You are not just dicking everyone around here are you? You have had a girlfriend before, right? I am just asking because people on the internet often pretend to be things they are not. It is that whole anonymity thing, I guess. Maybe even I have done it once or twice myself in the past. But then they say something that is totally out of left field on a subject they claim to know something about and it sets off a red warning light.

No girl is that submissive. Relationships, even good solid relationships, are full of power struggles. It is just the nature of the beast. Now you might play and retain a comfortable dominate role in a relationship but there is always give and take.

Almost every girl I've dated has been Korean or Japanese (majority Korean) so it may very well be a cultural thing. Of course it's also a common misconception that Korean girls are huge bitches that won't let their BF have a life outside of them but I've never had that happen to me. If my GFs don't like something I'm doing, they'll go do something else, they won't bitch me out for no reason, that's not what a relationship is for. And for the record these aren't like one week relationships, I've had one for 4.5 years, 5 for 6 months and a couple for around 3 months, all of which except one (one of the 6 months) I broke off, not them. The time I was dumped was because I was in Korea, she was in Vancouver and she couldn't handle being apart for so long.