Dumb Moments in JAV

[jugulear]

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This week's pick:



If You Really Love Me That Much, Go Get Screwed By That Guy [GG-267], starring Momo Watanabe

Momo mia! She's so sweet looking, isn't she?

She became blind in love, "and to do anything for. Kimi not only you to me. It. Raison d'etre of my" Therefore youth. The seized her mind persuasively, boyfriend that its eyes to that he has only seen, raised tailored to meat slave who hold out even his own body as long as instruction. Do not miss the moment you open the body to classmate boyfriend and janitor even though I love my boyfriend.

Whoever heard of a guy giving his girl away to be "done" by another man? Guys are not constructed that way. If anything, if a guy is in tight with a lady, the last thing that guy would want... would be for another guy to get his mitts on the lady. (This is the fun of humiliating "cuckold" movies, in fact.)

You might be saying, that's not so implausible; there are dominant men who treat a lady (who has fallen for him) like dirt, and one of the ways to assert his dominance would be to order her to make it with some other penised person.

Yes, that might happen in the S&M world. (Although probably rarely; even a dominant thug would be protective of a woman he has laid claim to.) Regardless, the thing is, this is not an S&M-themed movie.

This is more like a, We've got a sweet young thing to record generic sex scenes of, so we might as well dream up the "story" in the title. The sex scenes could as well belong in practically any other porno.

..

If you think you'd like this lazily cooked-up GLORY QUEST effort, a 1.36 GB package is in the archives with friendly Uploadable links. A better (972 MB) sized one lies in this outside site, with a choice of filehosters. There are also smaller-sized archival RMVBs in the form of torrents, here (647 MB) and here (353 MB). And here is a 432 MB direct download RMVB, courtesy of Redcrane186:

http://bitshare.com/files/1prrkc2k/GG267C.part1.rar.html
http://bitshare.com/files/bzwiye9s/GG267C.part2.rar.html
http://bitshare.com/files/5dt6m3y0/GG267C.part3.rar.html
http://bitshare.com/files/ojjest6e/GG267C.part4.rar.html



If you can think of other JAVs with similarly stupid settings, let us have it.




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[ding73ding]

Whoever heard of a guy giving his girl away to be "done" by another man? Guys are not constructed that way. ...

Sir Jug, you need to read Story of O.

 

[jugulear]

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Ohhhh, don't I know The Story of O, Lord Ding. (Never read the novel, but have fond memories of the lovely Corinne Cléry... and the fabulous Udo Kier.) Yet that is part of the S&M world. As I wrote, it's not like these things don't happen, but they are rare. And O, after all, is a Story.

(The female author - bravo to her! - cooked it up in the form of love letters to her boyfriend, an admirer of the Marquis de Sade's writings... after he "dared" her, by claiming a woman could not come up with similar perversions. She showed him!)


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[CodeGeek]

Thanks for mentioning Momo Watanabe. Looks like a nice one.

About the subject of that thread: As JAV movies are always functional I'm not wondering if they don't match the reality. I guess I even don't want that (even as I'm a great fan of Attackers and their production I wouldn't be very happy if they would really r*** women for their productions). But sometimes the situation, plot or story is so odd I even can't accept it for a functional movie. It is the same like Hollywood movies: At least within the story it should be correct within itself to some degree.

 

[Electromog]

Over here there are guys called "loverboys" who make a girl fall in love with them to lure them into prostitution. It's apparently a fairly big problem.

I haven't seen this movie so I don't know whether the 'boyfriend' gets anything in return for sharing his girl in this case but if so the premise of the movie isn't all that far fetched.

 

[evilwelshman]

Lol! I like the concept of this thread. Are you planning to do more in the future?

 

[jugulear]

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Hi, Evilwelshman..! Hopefully everyone with memories of dumb old JAVs will pitch in... including, maybe even you!

Oh, yes, the "loverboy" phenomenon. I think there was a Dutch movie exploring the theme, and by that name, most likely among others. (Is that the part of the world where you may be located, Electromog? I always wondered what powered your fabled electricity, and I never thought about windmills.)

The loverboys are a different ball of wax, however; they enter into relationships with the idea of becoming, basically, pimps. (That is, the loverboy's main incentive is financial profit; the dominating male character in "The Story of O" gets his kicks from the control over his female sex slave.) The setting of the movie I brought up appears to be girlfriend-boyfriend, point being, the normal boyfriend, even a dominating creep (not enmeshed in the fringe world of hardcore S&M), will not want to share the goods.

Codegeek brings up an excellent point; whether it's implausible for the majority of men to encourage their women to have sex with other men or not, we don't want to get hung up too much on the absurdity of the situation... because, let's face it, a lot of JAVs have ridiculous premises (and that's one reason why we could love them). But the nonsense carries a fine line, or as CG worded it, "...Sometimes the situation, plot or story is so odd I even can't accept it for a functional movie."

The not-as-overt objection to this particular movie, on my part, is that sometimes you know how you run into amazing title descriptions? (Especially the way Asian Screens handles some of them.) Then you watch the movie, and it's just routine sex. Then you're left holding the bag, wondering, hey! What happened to that great premise we were promised?

I only have the screen shots to judge by, as I have not seen this movie,, but it appears to me that all we've got is an excuse for routine sex. I don't think we get any of the drama of the guy "persuading" his girlfriend to have sex with other men.

If the movie was honest and made a point of the promised "plot," I think I would like this movie. Rather, it appears to be an idea they dreamed up to dress an uninspired porno with the usual sex scenes, and that's what sends it reeling into dumbsville.

(Yet that raises another bugaboo; there is no end to porn for porn's sake, and if a porno simply offers sex scenes, we can't classify such as dumb... because the whole idea of porn is the sex scenes. It's not gonna be easy to pick out the dumber JAVs, I tell ya, but I suppose - just like pornography itself - we'll know it when we see it.)



EDIT (Much, much later):


Below, Paparoach408 had treated us to a marvelous post, but the images had disappeared a long time ago. While I can't pretend to do justice to the great way Papa laid out his story, I thought the following will give you at least some appreciation of what he was getting at.


This looks like such a happy scene, 3 girls playing with toys what could ever possibly go wrong?



Um WTF is going on?



Then the dog gets involved?







At this point I've just given up on life




From A World in Which Suddenly One Day Stuffed Animals Go After Pretty Girls - Stuffed Animal Debauchery [RCT-502], starring: Hikari Matsushita, Arisu Hayase and Arisa.



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[paparoach408]

I'm going to kind of Hijack this with less of a dumb Moment, and more of a WTF did I just watch type moment. here we go

This looks like such a happy scene, 3 girls playing with toys what could ever possibly go wrong?

What could ever go wrong :under:

Um WTF is going on?

Welp we know where this is going

Then the dog gets involved?

At this point I've just given up on life

And I'm going to end this wtf on RCT-502 with

They are all gone

 

[Casshern2]

All kidding aside (well...some of it) a true loverboy is some piece of work. I'm sure their mothers would be proud.

 

[CodeGeek]

I'm going to kind of Hijack this with less of a dumb Moment, and more of a WTF did I just watch type moment. here we go

This looks like such a happy scene, 3 girls playing with toys what could ever possibly go wrong?

What could ever go wrong :under:

Um WTF is going on?

Welp we know where this is going

Then the dog gets involved?

At this point I've just given up on life

And I'm going to end this wtf on RCT-502 with

Somehow I don't see the pictures you included in your post. And if I request the images directly by copying the link into my browser I get:

Server Error
500 - Internal server error.
There is a problem with the resource you are looking for, and it cannot be displayed.

But that aside I have seen RCT-502. That movie wouldn't have been bad if you wouldn't see the hand of male performer every now and then. That totally destroys the illusion.
Reminds me of these other movies about tentacle sex or sex with animals (played by male actors): It is okay in Hentai and 3D animation movies. But in JAV it looks so cheap and unrealistic. I just looks ridiculous. But I guess it would be too expensive to let it looks more real.
I mean of course it isn't real. As well as the Alien movies. But how would you have felt if they would invest so much time and money for trying to let the aliens looking like they would really exist and being alive than simply using some glove puppets knitted by the grandmas of the film team? And that is how I feel if I look at this cheap productions.

 

[ding73ding]

Never read the novel, but have fond memories of the lovely Corinne Cléry...

Oh but you need to, Corinne was lovely but the film pales compared to the book. Probably it's the limitations of the medium not the artists. There was also a fine graphic novel version by an Italian Milo Manara.

And I disagree with your casual dismissal of the "S&M world" or "just a story" as if it's a different dimension than ours. It's true nowadays, there's a "hardcore" S&M world that might have gone weird-for-weird's-sake and dropped below our level of interest. But behind the (sometimes dumb) rituals of S&M there is a factor that resonates with most people, even those who won't admit it in public.

Sex is much more than stimulation of particular neural endings and exchange of bodily fluids, it's also more than the expression and consummation of love between a man and woman. The power/domination and possessiveness are both important components in the psyche of sex. I believe there's a bit of fascination with S&M (even r***) in most average men and women.

IMHO, the "dumb moment" you brought up is no more weird or unthinkable than incest, which is a major genre in JAV. I believe there is a significant minority (not more than 1%, I guess) of men who would allow or even enjoy having his woman fucked by other men. For some, perhaps, giving away one's GF/wife is the proof he truly possess the woman. There might be a variety of (Freudian) reasons behind it. Personally I find it more understandable than incest (see rant below).

As JAV movies are always functional I'm not wondering if they don't match the reality.

What a wonderful way to phrase it LOL.

I somewhat side with you, at least as far as Sir Jug's particular example is concerned. In his own words "We've got a sweet young thing to record generic sex scenes of, so we might as well dream up the "story" in the title. " For me, that's enough to end the discussion.

But it's not at all satisfactory, in general. Many JAV are of these generic sex scene purely-functional variety, fine, leave them aside. (and generally I don't bother downloading and watching these) Then we get to these themed genres which, unfortunately, follow a finite number of formulas. Which is also fine, if it's a formula we can understand or (hopefully) identified with. E.g. in Euro porn I enjoy a couple series that feature private school girls in plaid skirts, I love the series even when some entries are quite mediocre (and getting more so) because as a teenager I spent about half of every waking hours with a full hard-on staring at or fantasizing over plaid-skirted classmates.

Back to the point is that, I (and Jug, presumably) seek some mind-bending kinkiness to support the "functional" part of JAV. Many of us gravitates towards JAV partly because we are bored by the "all-sex" aspect of US/Euro porn. It's true most JAV has a back-story compared to US porn, but most of them are "soul-less" after you saw like 1000 of them (which is doable in just a few short years). So in final analysis, the typical JAV is just as bland and purely "functional" as many US/Euro porn. So yeah, Jug is over-thinking his Momo Watanabe case, but the point of "dumb moment" is a good point.

(Yet that raises another bugaboo; there is no end to porn for porn's sake, and if a porno simply offers sex scenes, we can't classify such as dumb... because the whole idea of porn is the sex scenes. It's not gonna be easy to pick out the dumber JAVs, I tell ya, but I suppose - just like pornography itself - we'll know it when we see it.)

It's one of those "the worst films ever" list. Bad films/dumb moments are a dime a dozen. The point of truly "worst films ever" is pretty pointless. It's only curious when it shouldn't be bad, maybe with a variety of positive points and it all came together badly. E.g. Waterworld, which isn't anywhere near the worst films ever, if you were to be objective for a moment. But it is a truly utterly ungood film. A better example is Dune. More than once, I watched it again just to see how bad it was and if I could somehow see some positive in it, and STILL end up regretting the decision.

So for the topic to be meaningful, it has to be something much more than a plain dumb moment or premise, it has to be something SPECIAL. For JAV that's a tall order. Dumb moments are all too common for my taste. There are many major genre that just rubs me the wrong way. The "r***ing in front of husband" series, the various incest series or sub-genres, the drugged series, the time-stop series, even in some way the virgin (boy) hunting genre. I don't mind that these genres exist and there exist a customer base for them. Much as I hate scat films, fat-as-pigs films, and grandma films, myself I don't mind their existence as a fringe genre as long as they remain fringe. What really gets my goat is that these weird genres (let me pick a semi-random representative: time-stop) are actually not so fringe. They are everywhere and perhaps even growing.

Why does time-stop annoy me so much? It indicates serious dysfunctions (in many ways) in the viewer. I interpret the phenomenon as a deep EQ imbalance. The classroom case repeat viewer (excluding those who sample a couple free downloads for curiosity sake) is someone who's so afraid of a walking, talking woman, to the extent that even prostitutes, nymphomaniacs, sex slaves, even a r*** victim etc is too terrifying. The only way they can get off, is with a woman in time-stop or drugged so that they can't react in anyway, perhaps not even feeling anything. Basically, necrophilia in reality if not in name.

Similarly, why does mother-son JAV annoys me so much? I understand if it's just a few films, or it's at the fringe together with the scat films. But unlike scat films, every major labels release many films every month and most veteran performers have done at least a few films in these genres. It's this popularity and un-ashamedness that bugs me. It says there is a not-small minority of customers who really do have sexual fantasy of their mothers, or other near relatives.

Both these caters to, for lack of better words, patholoigic otaku. Actually I believe the "pathologic" adjective is actually unnecessary (however, Akiba does proudly proclaim "neo-otaku community".) We are talking about guys (and many girls) who can't maintain a personal interaction with most people, especially of opposite sex.

In many ways I am a huge fan of Japanese culture and deeply admire their techno-economic achievements. On the other hand, theirs is a deeply fucked up culture and their national personality is pretty psychotic. Like Britain, Japan suffers from a bad case of island mentality, but Britain at least benefited from reverse colonialism (e.g. invasion of Indo-Pak culture/language/crusine back to the home country)

Oh there I went, totally off track... It's just a rant I've wanted to unleash for a while (several recent threads in this sub-forum did add oil to fire, but I'm too nice to raise hell in their threads).

So... Dumb moment as in weird, wacked-out, unrealistic, unbelievable, outrageous, but in way(s) that failed to resonate with the (normal-ish) viewers and contribute to the "functional" aspect. Here's my attempt at contributing a "dumb moment" in the "eipic fail(?)" variety.

In [thread=1310139]MIDE-008 Exposure Business[/thread], our favorite freakishly busty S-1 star Julia is (presumably) an employee at a family (???) restaurant and the general theme is that she's compelled/coerced (??) into serving while half-naked and have sex with customer(s?). All fine and not so novel. (a better film starring the same Julia was [thread=1234329]MDYD-821 Hot Spring Owner's Seduction[/thread]) But the build up was un-necessarily (in the "functional" sense) long and talkative and involve more than the minimal number of "NPC". Just check out the screen-caps, the first nipple came out at about 12:00 mark, which is about 11 minutes longer than the usual Julia treatment. You know... I shouldn't say so much now, I only skimmed the first 30 mins of the film and it's much more the usual level of incomprehension. So I just fire off this long-enough post and maybe someone would check out the film, maybe understand what's going on. Perhaps not a truly DUMB premise, but written and performed in a DUMB way. Or there's a elaborate mind-game that sailed right over my head.

 

[CodeGeek]

EH, I guess I should correct this: functional - this is a mistyping. :ghostly: I meant fictional. :girlpose:

What I meant is independent from the preference of the viewer. I think it should be logically in itself. E.g. if some of persons suddenly know things they can't know or - the other way round - suddenly don't know things they knew a second before, then the movie feels odd. Or if things are unrealistic - even in the context of the movie.

Same goes, of course, for JAV movies.

 

[ding73ding]

I'm going to kind of Hijack this with less of a dumb Moment, and more of a WTF did I just watch type moment.

LOL, the pix didn't come up first time I read your post. Now I see them. It's the first ROTFL I have on Akiba for a long long time.

Of course it's a tribute to those "Chucky" (???) toy-themed horror films. Great for a laugh!

 

[jugulear]

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I actually prefer Codegeek's "Functional"... to "Fictional"!

I got a blast out of Paparoach408's post - I haven't seen that film, but had run into the visuals in the past, so I surely remember it. (Not the newest idea, by the way; there was some Western porno where a woman was r***ing by a toy figure come to life.) Actually, Papa, you far from hijacked the thread; I think you came up with a worthy example of a JAV that may also be classified as "dumb." (But at least dumb in a good and imaginative way.)
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[CodeGeek]

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I actually prefer Codegeek's "Functional"... to "Fictional"!

I got a blast out of Paparoach408's post - I haven't seen that film, but had run into the visuals in the past, so I surely remember it. (Not the newest idea, by the way; there was some Western porno where a woman was r***ing by a toy figure come to life.) Actually, Papa, you far from hijacked the thread; I think you came up with a worthy example of a JAV that may also be classified as "dumb." (But at least dumb in a good and imaginative way.)
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jugulear, I hope you're aware that you have to post this again after the migration to the new server: [THREAD=1353907]NEW SERVER[/THREAD]. Same goes, of course, for your other posts (e.g. http://www.akiba-online.com/showthread.php?t=1352189&p=2612437&viewfull=1#post2612437)

 

[jugulear]

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jugulear, I hope you're aware that you have to post this again after the migration to the new server: NEW SERVER. Same goes, of course, for your other posts (e.g. http://www.akiba-online.com/showthre...=1#post2612437)

Thank you SO MUCH, Codegeek... that was very kind of you to let me, and others who are equally not as diligent about the latest Akiba-Online happenings (who happen upon this thread), know about this latest development.

So anyone who puts up a post after the time of Coolkevin's announcement (that CG thoughtfully provided the link for) - that is, June 4th, 1:00 PM - may wish to make a mental note (I'm already in trouble), so as to reproduce the posts or threads again onto the new server. (Guess that would entail making a copy of your post/thread. I'm in even more trouble.)

The good news is, the attachments will not disappear with this latest move to a server. If I had to put up my surviving attachments again to many of my picture-heavy threads, I would have taken a knife to my jugulear.

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[ding73ding]

jugulear, I hope you're aware that you have to post this again after the migration to the new server: [THREAD=1353907]NEW SERVER[/THREAD].

I thank you too, but I doubt my thank will get migrated to the new server. Oh well, see you all on the other side.

(and I should expect CG will keep us up to the minutes on here, cuz I'm too sexy to check the admin news myself)
:coolguy:

 

[jugulear]

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The idea for this thread sure fizzled out! Still, I figured it may be worth mentioning that the theme for the JAV below was... well, am I the only one to find it a little lunkheaded?

"My Workplace Got Run Over By Office Ladies Wearing White Surgical Masks" [OTMS-002]

(R18's choice of translation doesn't improve matters: "In My Office The Girls All Wear Masks When We Fuck Them")



"Fair skin plump ??Ru busty OL hit the men's house in the mask figure! ! My company it has been dominated by the OL. The plump was to be good is weak the man in body, is temptation in thigh to emphasize the Boyne and white whip the sheer from black pantyhose to hide the face with a white mask, I in Facesitting in-house, you do blame in Dirty and Te Footjob It is. Slave is gathered, depending on the handsome, work with multiple erotic ass side by side you begging ... Nasty OL does not attach to the hand!"


What... what IS this strange feeling that is surging through me? Oh... ohhhh... yes, my God! Why haven't I thought of it before? Women... who wear surgical masks! Okay, maybe not as sexy as if they wore bags over their heads, but still... what an incredible turn-on. Just a sensational idea for our pornographic needs, I tell you...


EDIT:
Subsequently came across a previously existing thread, ARM-349 - Woman Medical Mask, which also pointed to the movie from above... presented in a positive manner. Far from finding the idea silly, we can see some of our members enjoyed this notion... how do you like that.

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[Electromog]

Quite a few people in Japan wear them outside, not sure whether they normally take them off indoors.

 

[barba]

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... as sexy as if they wore bags over their heads ...

now you're talkin'...