Dumb Moments in JAV

[pikuseru]

I think this entire movie qualifies as a dumb moment.
RCT-750 Ass Sumo Tournament Big War Ass Boast 8 Absolute Defeat Is Not A Woman By People Ketsubatoru! !
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No sex. Literally just a bunch of girls bumping their butts against each other trying to push the other off the platform.
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This thread in general is hilarious, but this post really made me laugh. As ridiculous as RCT-750 is, it is probably not as ridiculous as some of Rocket's other movies, such as RCT-125 and RCT-136, where women are placed on giant plates on a conveyor belt (like conveyor belt sushi) and constantly rotated around while men stand around and cum on their faces. Very visually striking, but it makes absolutely no sense at all.

 

[Casshern2]

THANK YOU pikuseru! RCT-125 is the title I've been trying to remember that turned me on to Nozomi Mashiro back in the day! I could never remember! I for one would gladly stand waiting for this face to come back around!

 

[pikuseru]

THANK YOU pikuseru! RCT-125 is the title I've been trying to remember that turned me on to Nozomi Mashiro back in the day! I could never remember! I for one would gladly stand waiting for this face to come back around!

Oh cool, you should have asked. I mentioned in another thread, I have more videos of Nozomi Mashiro than any other actress except Sarasa Hara, and RCT-125 is one of them. Yes, she is definitely the highlight, they do focus on her at the end. At one point, one of the guys climbs onto the conveyor belt to cum on her from behind, and when he gets off he accidently knees her very hard in the back of her head - probably the single dumbest moment in one of the dumbest JAVs ever.

 

[jugulear]

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I had to stop and think about the idea behind the title's meaning. Yes, I thought about it for one second. Amazing.


Upon Discovering An Incest AV in Her Son's Room, An Overly Concerned Mother Thought to Herself "If He's Planning to Go After Me, Then I Might As Well..." and So While Her Husband Was Asleep, She Took Matters Into Her Own Hands and Snuck Over to Her Son's Bed For a Screw [NHDTA-508] (With Ayako Nagasawa, Aoi Aoyama and Hitomi Honjo.)

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[Zen10101]

LOL. Might as well indeed.

 

[barba]

that happened to a guy i know named eddie.

we all called him eddie pussy.

 

[hatsupaw]

that happened to a guy i know named eddie.

we all called him eddie pussy.

pun-tastic

 

[Casshern2]

Admittedly it took me a bit to get that. ..then I clicked Like.

Thanks to @jugulear for the spotlight!

 

[Restrepo]

Wasn't around for this thread back when it started, so just stumbling onto it. Good lord at the evil sexual stuffed animals. Actually laughed. Just...why?

Big blessing, though, this page might have just enlightened me to Nozomi Mashiro. Possible to probable that I've seen her before without realizing, but damn.

Anyway, can hopefully add pics later when I'm w/ external, but I always find the "family sex game show" concept to be among the most absurd JAV ideas.

Touching your families' breasts and ass to check if it's them? Then thinking "gee, it's not them, I'll have sex with this person."

I've also recently discovered the "Forbidden Care" series where the wife/daughter/partner/whatever ends up banging the elder of the household. Goes far beyond the coldhearted stepfather into pure absurdity.

They begin, (at least that I've seen) without exception, with the old man being unable to chew his food.

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So the girl thinks, "I should chew it myself then get into his mouth by basically making out with him. Obviously."

Naturally this turns the old guy on and apparently, somehow, the girl as well. They proceed to pretend making out is food exchanging - naturally, he needs to suck on her tongue to get all that food. Sigh. How this leads to a blowjob...? Lord knows.

 

[kharo88]

All right, this is more of a dumb concept as far as I'm concerned, but I'm sure there are plenty of dumb moments in this film as well... in fact, pretty much the whole film is one big, dumb moment spanning 220 minutes.

POST-328

Here's JavLibrary's translation of the title:

Horror!Women Employees Who Are Not Sandwiched Between The Falling Object Caught Hamstrung By Reference Room Located In The Company Office, "I Do Not Stuck By Being Sandwiched Between The Box!" Has Been Pies By Exploiting From The Back Is Shifted Panties "GoshNa, What!Quit Te~e~e "

Horror indeed...

Sorry if this is someone's thing here, but to me this just seems way too implausible/ridiculous to take seriously.

 

[Electromog]

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[NHDTA-508]

You call it a dumb moment, I call this 'anyone have a version without watermarks, I want to watch it.'

 

[Motiman]

I've also recently discovered the "Forbidden Care" series where the wife/daughter/partner/whatever ends up banging the elder of the household. Goes far beyond the coldhearted stepfather into pure absurdity.

They begin, (at least that I've seen) without exception, with the old man being unable to chew his food.

View attachment 587398​

So the girl thinks, "I should chew it myself then get into his mouth by basically making out with him. Obviously."

Naturally this turns the old guy on and apparently, somehow, the girl as well. They proceed to pretend making out is food exchanging - naturally, he needs to suck on her tongue to get all that food. Sigh. How this leads to a blowjob...? Lord knows.

Ahh the ever present food transfer scene of every forbidden care movie. Clearly what you call dumb, I call fan-bloody-tastic!

Always erotic due to the slow build up as you see the old geezer getting closer and closer to his goal before that fateful moment he finally manages to get some tounge action. Of course the girl, rather than run away horrified, has to continue her chore of feeding him, so continues to serve up mouthfuls, with each one getting more and more sloppier until they are basically just making out! Extra points for the scenes where the old man spills some of the mushy goop down her top, at which point he proceeds to go in search of it, with his tounge of course!

 

[jugulear]

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Leave it to Motiman to so expertly describe the "food transfer scene" which I, myself, find neither dumb (well, not totally dumb), nor fan-bloody-tastic, but... horrifying. (Yet I still appreciate the horror... the horror... for its uniqueness.)


Now this next example is not dumb as in, ha-ha-ha!... but... sigh! (So it will not be entertaining. Thankfully, Donald Trump is still campaigning, so you can get your fun out of that.)

Now I've always whined about the inappropriate casting of young girls in roles such as teachers and mothers-in-law. (Or even those ladies who may apply chronologically, but still look impossibly youthful thanks to accursed Japanese genes, spoiling the illusion.) What about the reverse?

We have surely seen the casting of long-in-the-tooth JAV actors who are assigned younger parts, such as students. (Great example: The Un-Juvenile Delinquent.)


The irrepressible Un-J.D., with Reiko Kobayakawa in [VEC-069]

Well, what if the part is meant to be that of an older man? Surely there would not be any problem in casting a proper actor for that kind of part, given that the "seventy" male actors in the industry have an average age of seventy-eight.

But then I was looking at this (and thanks to Ghostbird for bringing the movie to my attention):

Mother Who Came So Much Thanks to Constant Poking By the Big Arched Cock of Her Neighbor's Son [OBA-187]



The movie stars Kaoru Fueki, and she looks old... in fact, sometimes pretty old. (At least they got that part right. There she is, above, mixing it up with that real-life statutory r**ist, Hyena... an actor I like.)

So the movie begins with a shot of one happy family:



When we cut to the close-up of the husband/father, we get a ... HUH? moment.



Okay, I get it. Slick back the hair to further the effect of a receding hairline, put on the eyeglasses, and what have we got? Twenty more years.


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[pikuseru]

Btw, when I said RCT-125 and RCT-136 were dumb, I didn't mean 100% as criticism. Not everything has to be serious all the time. I am not sure the producers of the videos meant it be taken too seriously either.

But still I wonder how many more pages this thread would have if all of us could understand Japanese... A lot of JAV doesn't make sense to me because I don't understand Japanese, and maybe they still wouldn't make sense to me even if I could understand Japanese. I do tend to avoid story-heavy, drama-based JAVs for this reason.

 

[Supmop]

I know some people think that gold and silver dust series from Bermuda studio is hot, I respect that, but for my personal opinion its dumb, what the point to get girls naked if their whole body are covered with gold or silver paint

 

[pikuseru]

I know some people think that gold and silver dust series from Bermuda studio is hot, I respect that, but for my personal opinion its dumb, what the point to get girls naked if their whole body are covered with gold or silver paint

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Plus, covering in an entire body in paint is lethal (it is a reference to the iconic death scene in Goldfinger).

I remember in the behind-the-scenes documentary for Goldfinger they said they had to leave a patch of the actress' skin unpainted otherwise her skin would suffocate and she would die (for real).

If that's what turns people on, more power to them I guess...

 

[jugulear]

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Blade Runner had brought up the "Gold Dust Slave" series on this thread a month-and-a-half ago.

I see they came up with sixteen titles since the series' introduction one year ago... so the films must be popular. What's the "plot"? I've not seen any, and I'm trying to get an idea from the screen shots of the last one to date, Gold Dust Slave Police Inspector Featuring Yui Hatano [BUG-018]...



It looks like we get "normal porn" for most of the running time, and only toward the end does the tied-up "sex slave" get the paint job. This is followed by what seems to be a fairly brief sex scene while covered by the gold/silver.



In the first one that kicked off the series, BUG-008, star Marina Matsumoto has been quoted (in the film's description) as saying: "I thought I'd done everything there is to be done in porn, I'm so happy I got to experience so many things for the first time!"



Shirley Eaton ...

... gets readied...



... For her scene...

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[kharo88]

If you see this girl...

RUN!

Why? And who is she anyway, you ask? Oh, I know her name, but I dare not speak it out of fear of accidentally invoking her. And believe me, I don't want that! No one wants that! So instead of speaking her true name, let's just call her...

THE CRAZY FLOWER GIRL!

As to why, it's easier if I just show you. Before we get to that though, I must warn you that I was traumatised for life while watching this scene. You have been warned!

So...

All seems to be well at the start of the scene. There's this schoolgirl tending to her flowers and her teacher is just sitting there in adoration. It's all very nice, peaceful, idyllic even.

The teacher wants to smell the flowers and moves up to take one. Crazy Flower Girl is very protective of them, however, and slaps his hand which causes one of the flowers to fall to the ground. The poor guy doesn't even know what horrors are about to be unleashed upon him.

She starts out by putting the flower under his nose, but then slowly starts caressing his face with it. That turns into hitting him with it until the guy is on the ground, helpless against her terrible assaults!

But that is not enough! Crazy Flower Girl decides to consult her flower so that they may come up with a fitting punishment for his heinous crime.

And the flower answers! It speaks to her!!!

Apparently, the flower wants to be sacrificed by means of her pushing it into his face and trying to make him eat it. She obeys!

But if you remember the start of the scene, that wasn't her only flower... oh, no it wasn't! Of course, she asks those flowers for their opinion, too! Sometimes what they want is shocking even for Crazy Flower Girl herself!

For example, I don't know why the last flower wanted to end up where it did. This is all beyond me, in fact, so it's better to not wonder and simply accept their mysterious ways.

In any case, Crazy Flower Girl seems to be happy, gently caressing her flower, which probably means that the flower is happy as well and it's definitely better to not ask them any questions. So is this the long-awaited happy end to this crazy scene? Oh, I wish, but for some inexplicable reason the guy gets turned on by what's happening and starts masturbating. This sends Crazy Flower Girl (and presumably, her flower) into a mad rage and she starts fingering the guy's asshole with her flower...

Thankfully, the guy ejaculates after what seems like an eternity and our trials come to an end. Finally!

So if you see this girl...

RUN!


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Seriously, this scene is totally mental! If anyone is brave (or foolish) enough to want to check it out for themselves, it's the second scene of NFDM-342. Watch at your own risk!

 

[Supmop]

Plus, covering in an entire body in paint is lethal (it is a reference to the iconic death scene in Goldfinger).

I remember in the behind-the-scenes documentary for Goldfinger they said they had to leave a patch of the actress' skin unpainted otherwise her skin would suffocate and she would die (for real).

If that's what turns people on, more power to them I guess...

human skin is not wall, so I don't understand what the beauty in full body paint like that ? some people said tattoo can ruined the beauty, for me whole body paint is much worse ... a total turn off

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It looks like we get "normal porn" for most of the running time, and only toward the end does the tied-up "sex slave" get the paint job. This is followed by what seems to be a fairly brief sex scene while covered by the gold/silver.

usually in JAV the final scene is the hottest

but in gold / silver series, their final scene are bizarre, maybe because its not my thing, I like cosplay and elf fantasy, but not full body paint

 

[jugulear]

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Elf fantasy?





What's so hot about that??

Oh, wait; maybe you meant the LORD OF THE RINGS lady?



Well, technically that's not porn... do I need to look this up?

http://www.tokyokinky.com/elf-porn-japan-fantasy-adult-movie-soft-on-demand/

Ohhh... actually, I have run into this curiosity in the past...

The Elf does not speak. Dainty, puckish - as petite as can be. She has been developed by engineers from the Japanese adult movie world to be the play thing of men: To lick what is put in front of her, to accept what is "given" to her... In short, to be the cutest elfish girl you could ever imagine. Now see this imp on a threesome that she will never forget!



Thought that was a one-time thing... I didn't know it was a "thing"...


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