Please help me... I am confused. In work there's a new guy and he's very handsome. He's got the Brad Pitt kind of look and I somehow feel attracted to him. I've never felt like this... What comes to your mind when you see a beautiful young man? I am not gay or anything but I think there is a gay person deep down inside me some where and I don't want to show him to the real world. Please don't laugh and help me with this. I didn't know where else to ask about this, so I just posted it in this forum to stay anonymous.
I am attracted to beautiful young men. Is it good or bad?
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Well, you have to peruse your interests, whatever they may be. I've had a girlfriend who thought of herself as bisexual, yet refused to try dating a girl, and a girlfriend who is currently dating and sexually active with another woman, yet refuses to think of herself as bisexual.
People get hung up over the words and the identities too much. You should be honest with yourself and do what you want to do. I have no idea what the tolerance level in Qatar is like, so maybe it's socially riskier than it would be in the USA.
People get hung up over the words and the identities too much. You should be honest with yourself and do what you want to do. I have no idea what the tolerance level in Qatar is like, so maybe it's socially riskier than it would be in the USA.
For me, sex is what turns me on, especially when sex looks good. The Greeks had young nude males in tip-top shape playing the Games. (also plenty of statues!) In a sense, that's attractive because it's the human body in its best form -something to be admired, even attracted to.
lust is where it begins to differ though! i may be able to say "that's an attractive sorta guy" but i personally wouldn't try to hook up with him!
hope that helps!
k:
lust is where it begins to differ though! i may be able to say "that's an attractive sorta guy" but i personally wouldn't try to hook up with him!
hope that helps!
k:
I'm not sure how universal this idea is, but in the States there's a term called a "man-crush" (though, the term may differ depending on what part of the country you're from). Sometimes a guy meets another guy who is, quite simply, THE COOLEST! :narcissist: The person then spends a great deal of time hanging out with this person and talking to their friends about how awesome he is. But it's totally non-sexual.
What I'm getting at is pretty close to what ibarrz is saying, really examine your feelings and decide if you're thinking "This guy is hot. We should have sexy time" or "This guy is awesome. We should play ultimate frisbee together."
Just be honest with yourself about it. Like mister_playboy, I also don't know what social tolerance levels are like where you live, but, even if you can't be as open about it with your peers, you shouldn't have to lie to yourself.k:
What I'm getting at is pretty close to what ibarrz is saying, really examine your feelings and decide if you're thinking "This guy is hot. We should have sexy time" or "This guy is awesome. We should play ultimate frisbee together."
Just be honest with yourself about it. Like mister_playboy, I also don't know what social tolerance levels are like where you live, but, even if you can't be as open about it with your peers, you shouldn't have to lie to yourself.
k:
???????
Is anyone answering this thread gay? Has anyone here had to deal with a "mancrush" before? ( I liked how you used that term lowleg).
Come on people, I love discussion threads as much as anyone here but what this guy could use is some advice from someone who has deal with this before, (or this is is just a bullshit thread, we get those too).
Have I ever dealt with anything similar? maybe I have. I mean how big of an age difference are we talking about here? The older I have become the more I find myself appreciating beauty in places and people that I had not noticed when I was younger. That includes people of the same sex. But this being someone you work with? and no one thinks you are gay and you do not know if he is? (you actually did not mention his sexual preference). You have to take a look at the bigger picture here. Any confrontation here could lead to disastrous results.
There is nothing wrong with fantasizing, ( ibarzz you are such a freak, I like that). We have to think of the consequences when we attempt to make fantasies a reality. There is a big difference between "jacking off" to Brad Pitt and asking him out to dinner and a movie. So do not feel guilty about how you feel but think before you act.
Is anyone answering this thread gay? Has anyone here had to deal with a "mancrush" before? ( I liked how you used that term lowleg).
Come on people, I love discussion threads as much as anyone here but what this guy could use is some advice from someone who has deal with this before, (or this is is just a bullshit thread, we get those too).
Have I ever dealt with anything similar? maybe I have. I mean how big of an age difference are we talking about here? The older I have become the more I find myself appreciating beauty in places and people that I had not noticed when I was younger. That includes people of the same sex. But this being someone you work with? and no one thinks you are gay and you do not know if he is? (you actually did not mention his sexual preference). You have to take a look at the bigger picture here. Any confrontation here could lead to disastrous results.
There is nothing wrong with fantasizing, ( ibarzz you are such a freak, I like that). We have to think of the consequences when we attempt to make fantasies a reality. There is a big difference between "jacking off" to Brad Pitt and asking him out to dinner and a movie. So do not feel guilty about how you feel but think before you act.
i also need help. here goes, how come i fantasize about kissing guys, sometimes very rarely, but yet have no sexual interest in them?, I'm not even a little bit turned on by men naked bodies. in fact i see their bodies as sort of like a train wreck lol, but yet like i said, i fantasize about kissing them. what do you call that?.
Affectionate.
No, really. Kissing is a very affectionate gesture between two people. It is not something you feel is appropriate to act on so you only fantasize about it. No big deal. Fantasies are very private and personal things. They do not have to fit anyone elses rules or boundaries.
In some cultures men can kiss. In some cultures men hold hands. Like Ceewan said, Its just a sign of affection and not necessarily anything more.
Typically, I would think that if a person has to ask, "I thought/said/did such and such, does that mean I'm gay?" you're probably not gay. Unless the question is something like, "I regularly have sex exclusively with men and enjoy it, does that mean I'm gay?", then, yes, thats a pretty clear sign you're gay.
I'd call it a passing thought and, at the most, just a fantasy. Look at it this way, does speaking/thinking in Korean make a person Korean? No, BEING Korean makes them Korean. Just the same, you have to BE gay. Its not a bug you catch and wake up the next day saying, "whoops, I caught teh gayzorz!"
To be gay, you have to have no interest in women. To be bi, you have to have sexual interest in men and women. If you're only attracted to women, in this case, we'll call that "being spikey1212." :joker:
Ah, the utilitarian male physique. I can't remember the exact quote, but I think it was 'Seinfeld' where they said something akin to: "The male body is not meant to be beautiful, its meant to be functional. Like a Jeep."
andalaugh:That's what people call a fetish. For example, men fantasize lesbians kissing, caressing each other and other rated r stuff... Including cosplay, panty, etc.
Well, in your case, may simply be curiosity of the opposite sex. Hey, we are not all natural bored sex machines. We don't go out and look at naked people and decide that we will get turned on and go on a sex spree. Guys fantasize about kissing too. But usually more sexual than emotional. :gayprance:
Best wishes
Physical beauty attracts attention. It is very natural in both sexes. It all depends on how you interpret those signals you get from the experience.
Most men do not fantasize young men. In fact, most men (including myself) are homophobic. It's a guy thing. Most men see others as threats to their dominance (well, i got this from discovery ok?), especially beautiful young men. If there are no laws, they will be the first group to go. Just kidding...
Its ok to see them as someone to learn from, such as style, clothing, etc. Other than that, it's your own personal preference, experience and opinion.
Most guys get initiated to the female experience by books (you know what books), videos and etc. If you are a late boomer, maybe now is the time. Do some sports and enjoy yourself.
No one can tell you what is right and what is wrong other than yourself. You have to find out for yourself and accept yourself as who you really are. (If/ands/and buts are not acceptable in this case)
(STOP, Stay away from any drinks with plastic water bottles, milk, cappuccino and other items that may contain high doses of female hormone.)
Physical beauty attracts attention. It is very natural in both sexes. It all depends on how you interpret those signals you get from the experience.
Most men do not fantasize young men. In fact, most men (including myself) are homophobic. It's a guy thing. Most men see others as threats to their dominance (well, i got this from discovery ok?), especially beautiful young men. If there are no laws, they will be the first group to go.
Just kidding...Its ok to see them as someone to learn from, such as style, clothing, etc. Other than that, it's your own personal preference, experience and opinion.
Most guys get initiated to the female experience by books (you know what books), videos and etc. If you are a late boomer, maybe now is the time. Do some sports and enjoy yourself.
No one can tell you what is right and what is wrong other than yourself. You have to find out for yourself and accept yourself as who you really are. (If/ands/and buts are not acceptable in this case)
(STOP, Stay away from any drinks with plastic water bottles, milk, cappuccino and other items that may contain high doses of female hormone.)
Who's to say whether it is good or bad. One doesn't choose who they are attracted to: you like who like, and there's not much you can do about it.
I have zero interest in men, but I think it's the right of all people to live according to their conscience, and beliefs (except where it causes undue harm to others).
Don't stress it. Accept that you find this individual attractive. What you should be wondering about is what kind of relationship should you seek with this man.
you never know what happen in till you try it. or what some say never know what it like in till you knock it. its America saying. what means in till you try it how will you know if you like or not. but never good thing to have work relationship since will lead to bad things. i seen it break people up or cause work issues. i seen some at work lose his wife over love affair with someone he work with. he was cheat on wife with co work. i seen where co work use this to her advantage to get move to new store or have some get fired over issue. i seen it where they move both away from each other. and on where friend of mine got fired from work because of it.
kinsey scale
whatever is good for you is good for you.
i am predominantly hetro guy but i can look at a totally hot guy and feel attraction towards him. i really only use the word hetrosexual cos it's a refference for everyone else to know what i mean, i don't think that it is so absolute. i have so far not slept with a man nor do i intend to find a guy but i wouldn't rule it out totally.
i would advise you to not try and associate yourself with one or the other, instead think for yourself and find what's right for you.
a sexologist called Alfred Kinsey made a scale for levels of hetro/homosexuality. i think i'm a 1 on the scale. the wikipedia article it's too long but please have a read
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
whatever is good for you is good for you.
i am predominantly hetro guy but i can look at a totally hot guy and feel attraction towards him. i really only use the word hetrosexual cos it's a refference for everyone else to know what i mean, i don't think that it is so absolute. i have so far not slept with a man nor do i intend to find a guy but i wouldn't rule it out totally.
i would advise you to not try and associate yourself with one or the other, instead think for yourself and find what's right for you.
a sexologist called Alfred Kinsey made a scale for levels of hetro/homosexuality. i think i'm a 1 on the scale. the wikipedia article it's too long but please have a read
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale