SDDE-609
今日から君は、セックス地球防衛軍 2169 宇宙戦艦で戦う強かっこいい女隊員たちとセックスをして地球を守れ！
黒川すみれ, 美園和花
From today, you enlist with Sexual Defense Force 2169 Space Battleship powered by intercourse with female crew to defend Earth!
Sumire Kurokawa as Captain
Waka Misono as ship pilot
"You" as virgin spaceman
Viewer Note: about understanding this vid and my sub: the director meant that "YOU" (the viewer) are the main stud of the story. And like certain (very weird) J-dating sim convention, "you" are not voiced. So whenever "you" are supposed to say something, Japanese subtitle appears on screen, and if you are a true otaku, you can say the line with your own voice, truly participating in the story making. In my sub, all the lines in brackets are lines that are supposed to be spoken aloud (or silently in thought) by you, virgin spaceman, EDF newb and (soon to be) mega stud and hero of Earth. Exception being... when the screen turn all white with some Japanese text, that's "you" narrating to yourself. Since nothing is on the audio, it's pretty obvious no one else is saying anything so I didn't put bracket around the subtitles for those lines.
Except... very strangely, starting 1:20:05 the camera changed from first person to third person. The stud become visible on screen and he speaks audible lines. So now "you" are watching the stud do his heroics, shooting and stuffs. So for the rest of the film, there are no brackets for the stud's dialogs.
Translator Note: I worked off the Chinese hard sub, which is pretty good, pretty coherent, seems accurate enough and not missing many lines. Most important is that the original plot is a little unusual, a little twisty and not very well written, so you can’t count on plot conventions, story flow or intonation to guess the story. So the decent quality Chinese sub was extra helpful and make the vid that much more fun.
However I think the writing itself, as far as each dialog line is concerned, is pretty disappointing. And I think it's the original Japanese script, not just the Chinese sub. Why I know, all the "You" lines are given in Japanese subtitle, so I use my phone to Google translate those lines. So what I have done, sticking fairly close to the original meaning (according to both the Chinese and also the intonation and by now I can say I understand maybe 10% of the spoken Japanese when aided by Chinese) I play with the wording a bit... trying to spice it up just a touch. Mostly I made Captain Kurokawa sounds more serious, professional and military. I also wanted to do that to Misono's lines, but somehow I failed. The moment Misono gets a little sexual, she just don't have any in-charge air to her, so her sex scenes sound more like a run-of-the-mill JAV scene.
I corrected some Chinese lines (making it closer to original), enhanced some lines (adding techno-military spice), and filled in some missing lines. Anyway sorry it's very long story to say: the meaning is pretty accurate to original, but the tone and style of the lines has been "enhanced" a bit by yours truly. Even if you aren't getting the vid, I hope you might consider reading my sub. I daresay... I'm proud of it.
Mini Review: In recent years, I have switched from being a major fan to being very annoyed with SOD. Partly yes I have changed, I have gotten over "weird for weird's sake". But mostly I think it's SOD, and the fandom. The fandom has become more immature, ignorant and misogynist as a whole and SOD has slipped to cater to those regions more than other studios. On the surface Sexual Defense Force (SDF) is a vid right up my alley, parody (?) of Space Battleship Yamato, with costume, BGM, props and CGI. And plot, and dialog, full form dialog, and technobabble. WWII-inspired SciFi porn FTW! But yikes it's a fap vid specifically made for the type of audience that I hate. Yes HATE.
Classic otaku cherry boy, 27 years old, working at 7-11. Lacking education, smarts and motivation to become artist, engineer, or even office worker or even a criminal. Put his entire income (after cheap food) to anime manga games and AV. Have not made eye contact with a woman since leaving school (prefer vending machine and amazon). A total absolute loser.
And that's "You", virgin spaceman, total loser. The first 19 mins (way too long without any sex or even fan service) establish that "You" are a loser and can't do anything useful. Lacking both capability and motivation. Somehow busty comrade Misono saved your ass and made you a hero, except that "You" yourself know that you don't deserve a bit of it (00:08:22). Of course Misono knows it too, so as "You" continue to show weakness, she
dis you. And then magically irrationally, "You" are chosen by Captain to fuck her to save the ship.
And then a new crisis, and now "You" are forced to have sex with Misono too. Yes FORCED to, not that you want to, not that you are willing perform a duty, but you are ordered to, and you do protest but protest so meekly that everyone ignored your protest. What a fucking loser. Either embrace your duty, or accept your fate, or change your fate, or rebel, but none of it. "You" are such a loser you can't get them to acknowledge your presence, while conscripting your dick. Of course, actually "You" wanted to molest her and ejaculate in her mouth the moment you laid eyes on her.
And then in ~44 seconds (53:23 ~ 54:07) the no-nonsense tough-as-nail Space Navy role model par excellence melts away and turn into a timid nervous virgin. And "You" changed from human deadweight into intergalactic stud de l'amour. WHY? Because even a military order + a gungho willing partner is not enough. The Misono who dissed him earlier is still too intimidating. So now we need a magic snap-of-finger role reversal. RAGE, stop ruining my porn, 7-11 cherry boy fan.
So with a fantastic setup, I mean I seriously absolutely love the technosexual devices (check 0:43:40), super original and effective and fappilicious, but the male role "You" is garbage. There are some missed opportunities, not getting Kurokawa and Misono in a 3p sex is absolutely criminal. Also the other male characters, at least Comm and Engineer, should have some sex scene too. One way is a 3M2F orgy, but okay that's a bit challenging to film. So having a rapid gangbang, or chain ejaculation would be much more manageable. Especially, one of the device is exactly called "Rapid Sperm Shooter" and is powered by multiple shots, but it was actually quite lame (1:28:35). Also killing off Kurokawa after just one sex scene and killing both Misono and stud at the end was entirely unnecessary and wasteful.
Despite all my complaining and missing opportunities and especially weak dialog and flat acting by an aging loli and a fat chick, I actually really enjoy the vid. As I watch it, I can rewrite the story and dialog in my head and enjoy it more than it deserves. The main point is super cheap, super corny space opera is quite unique, especially in last few years the average production value (script, set, props, costume, BGM, CGI etc) of JAV have gone way way down.
Changelog: EDIT 1: Screw-up! It was timed to the hard sub version, but most of you will (should) get the FHD version NOT the hard sub, watermark, and 2:20 long Chinese ad at the beginning. So here is the sub timed to the FHD version. Also corrected a few typos... (this corrected version is named without the .SRT extension)
EDIT 2: Translator Note
EDIT 3: Mini Review + version 3 of SRT (with .srt.txt extension), more minor typos.
