The last stalker I had was trying to draw with his permanent marker on my pants and on my nails (don't ask why, I don't have that much insight into weirdos). I was like 'Can't you just leave?' I told him I had a boyfriend and tried to pass my ring off as an engagement ring. Of course, that never works. :sigh: He was still trying to ask me what I was doing that night and a whole bunch of yadda-yadda. All up in my face too. Those 6 metro stops were some of the longest in my life. Ugh.
If I were capable of being rude, I would just have ignored him and left...
Ewww... Glad you escaped without it turning into something more frightening. :exhausted:
Speaking of stalkers though, have you ever become a stalker?
Hmm. I wonder if a stalker realizes he's a stalker.
uzzled: As far as I know, I've never stalked anyone. :exhausted: Let's see. I can think of two situations where I might have come close. One was with a woman whom I met on a business trip. We hit it off immediately, and I fell for her like a ton of bricks. :love: I ended up spending the night at her apartment. I was being a good boy (I think), and she put me up in her guest room. We said goodnight, and I lay there thinking, God, here I am just one room away from this amazing woman...and the next thing I know, she's standing in my doorway and asking, "Can I sleep with you?" :dizzy: Naturally, being a married man at the time, and having only known this woman for about 14 hours, I said "No."
....
Yeah, right. :lols: Like I'm Sir Galahad or something. Without a second's hesitation, I said "Sure!" and we ended up doing what you can imagine two people would do in such a situation. The next day, I had to go back home, but I called her every night (from a pay phone!) for weeks after that. We always had a pleasant conversation--maybe 20 minutes or so--and I'd hang up and go home. Then I got a letter from her. Turns out she's in love with some other guy, and has been for a long time. Basically, from her point of view, I was a one-night stand to help relieve her frustration.
etrfied: I may be persistent, but I'm not stupid. I sent her a letter saying I understood, and saying I'm sorry if I've been bothering you with my nightly phone calls, and good luck with whoever. :...: BTW, this woman (Japanese), who's just a few years younger than I, is rather famous in her field. Some people on AO might actually recognize her name if I revealed it. :exhausted:
The other case was a bit more complicated. This was a woman who is much younger than I. We were very friendly. She would hug me or put her arm around my waist when we met (unusual, to say the least, here in Japan), and she and a few of her friends made a game out of sneaking up behind me and grabbing my ass every time they had a chance. :exhausted: I swear I'm not making this up. Well, I kind of fell in love with this woman, E-chan. She was bright, funny, and damned pretty (though she had a pretty serious case of atopic eczema--rare in the U.S. but rather common in japan). So I had her and some of her friends over for dinner one night, and they ended up staying the night. I should have gone a slept in another room, but I gave in to temptation and we all slept in the same room, with three of us on the bed. We wake up the next morning, and E-chan and I are in each other's arms. Nobody says anything, I just sort of go "oops!" and extract myself from her. That evening, I wrote her a long e-mail. I apologized for the night before, and confessed that I had strong feelings for her, though I said I had no intention of acting on those feelings, since I was already involved with another woman (who turned out to be a psycho :exhausted
. E-chan calls me. We talk for like two hours. She says she had never thought of me in that way, and that, because of her eczema, she had a bit of a phobia about romance. Then she asks me to come to apartment. Now. Naturally, since I was involved with another woman, and this young woman was clearly confused, I said "No."
....
Yeah, right. :lols: I hopped on my bicycle and was ringing her doorbell about 10 seconds after hanging up the phone. We talk, she asks me to stay the night. We sleep in each other's arms again, without doing anything else. No, seriously. Not even a kiss.
For a couple of weeks, we exchange e-mails (by cellphone) several times a day, every day. I go on a business trip to Hokkaido and buy a gift for her. When I get back, I tell her I'd like to deliver her gift, but this time I won't spend the night. Seh says okay, I go to her apartment, give her the gift, she loves it, we talk...I end up spending the night. Same thing. We sleep in each other's arms, without so much as a kiss. The next morning we have breakfast together, and as I leave she smiles, waves, and says "See you later." Then, over the next few days, her attitude begins to change. She becomes cold and irritable. I ask what's wrong. Nothing, she says. Obviously something's wrong. I ask again. She says, "I think what we did was wrong. We should avoid being alone together again." I say, "Okay, but I hope we can at least stay friends." She says she'd like that, too. But she won't even be friendly to me anymore. I say, if I did something to hurt you, I'm sorry. I just want to be friends again, the way we used to be. She says she just needs time. Weeks pass, and she's still cold to me, and avoids me in really obvious ways. (I walk into a room, she immediately walks out. She sees me walking toward her, and she suddenly turns and walks the other way.) I keep sending her e-mails. I try not to pester. Just little e-mails like, "The sunset is beautiful this evening. Here's a picture I took of it with my cellphone. Hope you're doing well." No response. Finally, I hear through a third party that she wants me to stop sending her e-mail, and to leave her alone completely. :silence: From her point of view, maybe I was coming close to stalking, but I think it was more complicated than that. I think she resented that I told her I had strong feelings for her even though I couldn't act on them, which in turn made her think about me in ways she hadn't before, and while it was nice at first, her feelings for me became stronger, and she realized that there was nothing she could do about it. In short, I think she resented me for making her fall in love with me when I couldn't follow through. :defeat: She had every right to resent me. It was stupid and irresponsible of me to just say, "BTW, I'm in love with you, but since I'm in a committed relationship with R-san, I can't do anything about it. I just wanted to let you know." My habit of being "honest" and "forthright" in matters of love was not necessarily as good a thing as I had always thought. I hurt her, lost a friend, almost hurt my then-girlfriend (who turned out to be a psycho), and got hurt myself in the process. :innocence:
Ehem. Sorry for the rather depressing story.
I've never been stalked myself (that I know of), but I once came close to be stalked. In college, I was pretty popular with women. I don't think I was a "womanizer." I was in two committed relationships in college, and only cheated, like five times. :evillaugh: But considering that temptation was everywhere, I think I did pretty good job of restraining myself. When an incredibly beautiful and intelligent Indian woman reached across the table at a café, took my hands, and said with the most stunning smile, "I really like you, and I'd really like to go out with you," I actually managed to maintain control of myself and say, "Ablah blee blak bleb....Ehem...I mean, awawawa, that is to say, I'm extremely f-f-f-f-
flattered, but I bleh blah awawa...ehem...I awawawa... I...have...a...a...g-g-g-
girlfriend. Yes. I have...a
girlfriend, so I'm afraid I c-c-c-c-can't...I can't...
go...
out...
with...
you." :abandoned2:
Sorry, got off track there. Anyway, one pretty young woman who seemed to be interested in me, and was an amateur photographer, asked me if I would model for her one day. I said sure, and we spent the better part of an afternoon going around to different places on campus, and she took like, a hundred photos of me. She seemed really nervous the whole time. Then she thanked me, I said no problem, and then forgot about the whole. Well, months later, I'm at a house party, and friend grabs me says, "IDIW, you've got to see this." He drags me upstairs to one of the bedrooms that belongs to some odd woman whom I had only ever spoken to two or three times. I said, "We can't just go into someone's bedroom," and he says, "No, seriously. You have to see this. So we go in. There, above the dresser, is one of the photos the other girl had taken of me, blown up to something like 13 x 18 inches. On either side of this photo of me ( a closeup of my face) are photos of two famous rock stars who look vaguely like me. And on the dresser, in front of the photos, are like six lit candles. :coldsweat: It was a fucking shrine! The woman had made a shrine to me!! I say, "Let's get out of here. Now." I had always thought the strange way that woman looked at me was the way she looked at everybody, but it seems that weird look was reserved for me (and maybe those two rock stars). I didn't say anything about it to the girl who took the photo (and obviously gave this woman the huge print), and I sure as hell didn't say anything to the woman who made the shrine. I just acted as if I knew nothing about it, and tried to be polite to her, as I always had been, but I also tried to maintain a distance from her of at least four or five feet. :exhausted:
Oops. I've gone over the character limit.
etrfied: I'll split this into two posts.
