Who said Japanese ladies don't like black guys?
- Thread starter Bouna
- Start date
-
Akiba-Online is sponsored by FileJoker.
FileJoker is a required filehost for all new posts and content replies in the Direct Downloads subforums.
Failure to include FileJoker links for Direct Download posts will result in deletion of your posts or worse.
For more information see this thread.
I'm African-American living in America and the Japanese women I've met seem interested. For the long term, I'm not sure, but casual sex and that type of thing, it's there.
I think it is pretty easy: You'll find women who are only interested in men of their own kind. And you'll find women who are interested in men of other kinds (exclusively or also). And you'll find these two types of women all around the world.
I never had any doubts that there are Japanese women who are interested in black guys. I also so some Japanese women on dating sites who were interested in black guys only.
May I ask, alexkiallys, why you can't imagine having a long term relationship with a Japanese women?
And by the way: I'm not black.
I never had any doubts that there are Japanese women who are interested in black guys. I also so some Japanese women on dating sites who were interested in black guys only.
May I ask, alexkiallys, why you can't imagine having a long term relationship with a Japanese women?
And by the way: I'm not black.
Be careful, you are working in Tokyo, not in the other parts of Japan. Tokyo is as socially "liberal," relative within Japan, as you can get.
That's basically it. Its basically been going on since the early modern era (ever since white dude colonists were going after black, latina, and asian women). The rates of interracial anything may be different, but its definitely there for basically everyone. There is no such thing as a "pure" nation (where a nation's inhabitants is 100% of a certain group or ethnicity AND they only relate within themselves), and there never really has been.
I think it is pretty easy: You'll find women who are only interested in men of their own kind. And you'll find women who are interested in men of other kinds (exclusively or also). And you'll find these two types of women all around the world.
I never had any doubts that there are Japanese women who are interested in black guys. I also so some Japanese women on dating sites who were interested in black guys only.
May I ask, alexkiallys, why you can't imagine having a long term relationship with a Japanese women?
And by the way: I'm not black.
I didn't say I couldn't personally imagine Japanese women for a long term relationship, what I am talking about is stereotypes. Ive met Asian women (Japanese, Chinese, Korean etc...) and I've heard them all basically say the same thing...
"Asian men are conservative and controlling.
Black men are intimidating and aggressive.
White men are the best to be around."
Most of the time, Black men are portrayed as some sort of gangsta or thug. Now granted, some women are attracted to that, but for the guys like me, who aren't thugs etc... women almost seem disappointed.
I had a Japanese female friend that lived by those stereotypes and White men were all she found attractive. Even though she had one unsuccessful relationship after another with White men, she kept trying. She didn't even want to give any other type of race a chance. She might have met Black men or Asian men who also broke her heart, but she also might have met a man who would've treated her like a queen.
For me, the race isn't important (I'm not really attracted to White women though). If the woman has all this "drama" and makes things difficult because she can, I don't deal with it. I don't care who she is. Some guys will because sex is that important. Life is difficult as is, I don't need someone making it harder.
Interestingly enough, I seem to get along with Filipinos and Filipinas. Blacks and the Philippines have a long history, so it's not a big deal to see that type of interracial couple.
Funny how some people still believe in that. Asian men are conservative and controlling? Not anymore than, *gasp*, white dudes. Oh and Asian American people gave Democrats ~70% of the vote in the past 20 years (if we go political here), conservative my ass. And I thought Asian dudes were too effeminate to be controlling (you know, the other stereotype). Black men as intimidating and aggressive, sure, maybe if they are "hood" or "gangsta" (whatever that is supposed to mean nowadays).The people you met self loathe their own culture while not accepting anything else as successful unless white people are involved. Its a bit irritating that it still happens in this day and age.
Same here. There are a bunch of other factors than race... and we just do not need anymore drama.
For your friend that "loves" white dudes... you can test her... it will be very ruthless, but say that she will never be white. Let's see what she says, I wonder if it will end well
. Nah, you don't have to go that far, but I think you now know what is up with girls like her.
Interesting stereotypes. Never heard of them (which doesn't mean that they exist). I think you'll find men of all of the 3 named kinds which have all of the 3 named attributes. Depends on the person, not the kind.
Thanks for your reply to my post.
The people you met self loathe their own culture while not accepting anything else as successful unless white people are involved. Its a bit irritating that it still happens in this day and age.
Same here. There are a bunch of other factors than race... and we just do not need anymore drama.
For your friend that "loves" white dudes... you can test her... it will be very ruthless, but say that she will never be white. Let's see what she says, I wonder if it will end well
Where you are in life can determine what stereotypes you "believe." What I mean by that is a woman I knew, a filipina, would only want to be involved with guys of a certain race. Now she's 40 years old, a single mother and by her own words, lonely. NOW race doesn't matter. If the guy has a job and treats her and her daughter right, that's all she cares about.
All of a sudden, these stereotypes she had about which men were worth her time and which ones weren't, all that stuff flew out the window. I've met women who I know at one point in their lives, they had these high standards and gave men a hard time. Now they're desperate to be with someone.
The perception of White people being more successful than anyone else is a strong one and it's perpetuated in all types of media. From film to tv to magazines etc...
Correct. I agreed with your statement prior (and this new post as well). I was just saying that its irritating that people still think like that even for a moment when they are 18+. I was actually referring to the Japanese gal who kept trying white dudes even getting while getting rejected over and over. But now it all makes sense. Yes, some people learn that race does not matter when it is already too late.
And actually I can strengthen a point brought up by you and I. When you self-loathe your own culture (and thus seeing some of these people of certain races desperate to be with people of a different race), you cannot fully appreciate yourself. It eventually leads you to date and marry for the wrong reasons (for the self loathers, its about "marrying up"). What people do not realize is that it is VERY difficult for one person to find the "perfect" girlfriend/boyfriend. Adding race strongly to the equation will just make it that much more difficult.
Ditto on perceptions... It is basically the driving force of everything (relationships and sexuality being just a few aspects).
When I made my original statement about Japanese women (or any woman for that matter) might not being interested in a long term relationship with someone Black (or anyone else outside their race), I was alluding to this...
Let's say a Japanese woman is sexually attracted to Black men. Stereotypes aren't that crucial, in my opinion because we're talking about casual sex. He doesn't have to be all that she envisioned because she's not looking at him for long term. Maybe just a one night stand.
But if she's thinking about long term, that Black man has to fit a more definite criteria, most likely based on stereotypes. If she wants a guy that's "gangsta" , then a guy HAS to be that.
What is she meet a guy who treats her right, but isn't that "gangsta" she's looking for? Then she'll pass him up, no matter how great he might be and keep looking. Suppose the "gangsta' she finally gets turns out to fit the stereotype perfectly, but is an asshole?
So what I'm saying is that if someone solely goes on stereotypes, then they're most likely going to be disappointed because the other person can't completely live up to the perception someone might have. And if they somehow do, then who said you'll be happy with it?
I can't count the times I've had people (of all races) come up to me and start speaking slang ("Yo man, wassup? Yeah, right right!") and then they start talking about hip hop, basketball and where can they buy the best weed.
I don't listen to hip hop that much, I don't smoke, drink or do drugs, I do like basketball, but so do a lot of people. And when they realize I don't fit the stereotype, I've actually had people tell me that I'm not Black "enough."
So if a woman tells me that she likes Black men, it's kind of a turn off, to be honest. Because I have no clue of what she "thinks" a Black man is. Now if a woman says she wants to just fuck a Black man, that's different. It wouldn't matter what I did for a living, where I live etc... we would have sex and go our separate ways.
This is the reverse of the way it used to be. In the past, you would get to know someone and if you liked and eventually loved them, you realized the original stereotype about them didn't even matter if you're happy with them.
Now people want someone to fit a stereotype and that's it. No compromise. If they can't fit, then they move on to another person instead of realizing that if the person they have treats them right, who cares if they don't fit a perception they once had.
Good post, alexkiallys.
I'm wondering if that is also the case the other way round. Many guys here are interested in Japanese girls / women. At least it seems so. But are they interested also in the person behind the nationality / ethnicity? As you already said: For casual sex it isn't maybe that important. For a longer relationship... .
I have to admit that I think that I also fit in that group. I mean in that group of guys who is interested in something more serious with Japanese women. So I have to ask myself if I also misguided by some stereotypes. I hope not. And I guess I wouldn't date a Japanese women just because she looks good and wears a kimono. For a serious relationship that is clearly not enough.
I'm wondering if that is also the case the other way round. Many guys here are interested in Japanese girls / women. At least it seems so.
But are they interested also in the person behind the nationality / ethnicity? As you already said: For casual sex it isn't maybe that important. For a longer relationship... .I have to admit that I think that I also fit in that group. I mean in that group of guys who is interested in something more serious with Japanese women. So I have to ask myself if I also misguided by some stereotypes. I hope not. And I guess I wouldn't date a Japanese women just because she looks good and wears a kimono. For a serious relationship that is clearly not enough.
Very good posts Alexkiallys. Though now there is something we finally disagree on (basically your last two paragraph as quoted). I don't believe that the past was necessarily better in regards to love eventually overtaking preconceived notions of racial profiling and stereotypes. Well, actually it really depends on how far we go back in history (because these eras are different). What era are you talking about? The 70s is probably the only era that sort of matches your description. That was the era of not only the Civil Rights movement, but women's rights and Stonewall.
If we talked about the more immediate past, I actually believed that, especially in the 80s and 90s, quite a bit of people dated/married BECAUSE of the stereotyping. Sure there are the typical, let's say, white men and women who did not want (and some still do to this day) want anything to do with non-White people. However, there were certainly a good number of them that basically saw these "alternatives" as if they were fetishes. These prevailing attitudes still exist today, but is also mixed with a bunch of other ideas.
To this day, we are affected by basically everything that happened since the turn of the century. We had a political correctness movement in the 80's and early 90's that sort of backfired (and the reasons why stereotyping and racial profiling came back in the 2000's). There is also a color blindness movement going today (the people who say "I don't see race," I have X amount of(non-White friends so I', not really racist," etc.). Basically everything is messed up in terms of any sociological issue (race, women's right, gender, etc.) because everything is banging each other up. This is why it seems we be going backward (but that's not necessarily the case). We also just have to change our views in sexuality, or at least redefine it. Sometimes porn can be detrimental, not in terms of morals or "sexual addiction," but the social and how it creates or reinforces new racial profiling for, especially, non-White people. Its also funny how casual sex and long term relationships work, but that is just me.
What I'm alluding to isn't that specific or complex. I can take race, gender, sexual orientation out of this. Let's say 20 years ago, a lesbian woman was looking for a soul mate and she had a checklist of what she wanted the woman to be...
1) Very beautiful (Looks live a cover model)
2) College educated
3) Is employed and makes at least $100,000 a year.
4) Loves to workout and lives a healthy lifestyle
5) Has a great sense of humor
Let's say she meets and falls in love with a woman who is...
1) Employed and makes $100,000 a year
2) Loves to workout and lives a healthy lifestyle
3) Has a great sense of humor.
She weighs the pros and cons and comes to the conclusion that physical beauty is somewhat overrated. Her not being college educated isn't a crime against humanity. The things that she IS outweigh the things that she ISN'T.
And they decide to embark on a long term relationship and are together to this day.
What I'm saying is nowadays, some people want someone who has to be EVERYTHING on the checklist and they push and push until they realize that no one is going to be all the things they want and now they have to "lower" their standards.
And it can Black women and what they want in Black men. Someone Jewish who has a criteria for someone else who's Jewish. It doesn't have to be a multi-ethnic discussion.
The example I gave, involves two women. Race isn't an issue. Neither is religion or political affiliation. The only thing excluded are men. And who's going to argue with a lesbian wanting another woman?
The concept of someone who loves someone else, even though they aren't all they were looking for, probably goes back to the beginning of time and I don't place a specific era on it.
Good post, alexkiallys.
I'm wondering if that is also the case the other way round. Many guys here are interested in Japanese girls / women. At least it seems so.
I have to admit that I think that I also fit in that group. I mean in that group of guys who is interested in something more serious with Japanese women. So I have to ask myself if I also misguided by some stereotypes. I hope not. And I guess I wouldn't date a Japanese women just because she looks good and wears a kimono. For a serious relationship that is clearly not enough.
Growing I was interested in the subject of sex, but I didn't worry about having sex. When I was 12, 13 years old, I was reading books and using terms such as vagina, clitoris etc.. while kids my age were saying "boobies", "coo-chee", "wiener" and "ding-a-ling."
Most of the books I read, discussed sex from a woman's point of view. Race and all that stuff didn't matter because some things were universal. Women were complaining that their lover didn't please them. A woman in a poverty stricken neighborhood and a woman who's married to a billionaire can both relate to that. Good sex is good sex and bad sex is bad sex!
So I saw things on a wider scale. I knew basically ALL females get horny. Didn't matter if they were 16 or 60. Didn't matter if it was a porn star or a nun at a convent (think not?), women have sexual urges. Some can suppress them better than others.
So I didn't look at things from a racial / ethnic level because I thought all women were alike in some ways. So if you figure out what makes women "tick" in general, (and that's difficult) then how important is her race? Because a Japanese woman isn't going to have things in common with a woman from Mexico or Russia or Iraq or Nigeria? Sure she is. So I see women as women.
Growing up, I didn't hang out with guys. (I had male friends, sure) but I never went out and chased after women. As a matter of fact, to this day, I still don't. Usually I was in one of two places, either by myself or around women. Because why would I hang out with a bunch of guys and scheme and discuss the best way to meet a woman when it was so much easier to actually be around women?
I'm comfortable around women and women are comfortable around me.
I've been in long term relationships and in all of them, the other person couldn't be faithful. In my opinion, when someone cheats on you, what they're actually saying is that they can't accept you, the way you are, so they need to find someone else to fill what's missing.
And I'm saying this from the standpoint if you're faithful, attentive, doing what it takes the make the relationship work and the other person feels the need to be with someone else.
I got tired of relationships. And "casual sex" has a different meaning nowadays. As long as I'm around women, I'm happy.
Last edited:
Right. I am not saying you are wrong in any way, Alexkiallys. This is all about social theory, and whether race, gender, sexuality has anything to do with ever (even going back all the way in Ancient times) is up for debate.
Your brought up example of two women is a good point (and now I really see your main point), its basically a combination of (social) psychology and sexual selection. You have person A who has five "criterion," and persona B only has three of them (lacking college education and good looks). So then what happens? Well, person A chooses to bypass the other two criterion when she, presumably, has an epiphany that having three out of the five is probably the best in reality (and therefore we can say she made an excellent choice).
Now all I am saying is that while I also agree with your theory, I still think that race, gender, sexuality has a good grasp on this as well (and hence why I brought it up). Your point of some people pushing their criterion on others until they are forced to lower their own is true, yet some of these people would still refuse to give certain other people chances (and thus why it is also irritating that people only seem to lower their standards rather than outright change them).
True, this does not need to be a cross-cultural, cross disciplinary discussion... but you must admit it can be.
To me both relationships and casual sex can be "meh" to me. You basically have to win the lottery for a great relationship and casual sex is just blah to me.
Your brought up example of two women is a good point (and now I really see your main point), its basically a combination of (social) psychology and sexual selection. You have person A who has five "criterion," and persona B only has three of them (lacking college education and good looks). So then what happens? Well, person A chooses to bypass the other two criterion when she, presumably, has an epiphany that having three out of the five is probably the best in reality (and therefore we can say she made an excellent choice).
Now all I am saying is that while I also agree with your theory, I still think that race, gender, sexuality has a good grasp on this as well (and hence why I brought it up). Your point of some people pushing their criterion on others until they are forced to lower their own is true, yet some of these people would still refuse to give certain other people chances (and thus why it is also irritating that people only seem to lower their standards rather than outright change them).
True, this does not need to be a cross-cultural, cross disciplinary discussion... but you must admit it can be.
To me both relationships and casual sex can be "meh" to me. You basically have to win the lottery for a great relationship and casual sex is just blah to me.
I understand your point and I don't disagree at all, but I'm using personal experience as an example, and I'll tell you, it sucks!
When someone holds something against you that you can't control and had no say in, (Your race, education, social status etc..) it sucks.
And I've experienced this with women of different ethnic backgrounds. So was race an issue? Maybe in one aspect, but it's not that complicated. Someone didn't think I was good enough and then realized maybe I was good enough and tried to pick up where things left off.
I'll try not to ramble on.
But the stereotype aspect is interesting to me because I don't fit the most common stereotypes of Black guys. For example, one of my favorite types of music is heavy metal. And when I'm at one of those concerts, I never for a second think I'll meet a woman, because if a woman wanted to meet a Black guy, she most likely wouldn't be at a heavy metal concert! But the twist is that I live in the "hood." With all the gangs, police, drugs, violence etc... and I never thought about moving. So I live in a particular enviroment associated with being Black, but me as a person, don't fit all the things associated with being Black.
And the Black people (among others) who say I'm not Black "enough." They moved to the suburbs to live with the Whites. I've had Black guys criticize me for the music I like, but at the same time, they won't date Black women!
(And I hear the same line over and over ...
"Yo, I love my sistahs, but sometimes, they be too hard on a brotha!")
But if you're not into hip hop etc... somehow you're a sellout!
It gets so complex, I have to simplify things. I can't get into all that other stuff because it's very basic to me in some aspects. I think some of it is based on people feeling trapped by a stereotype. People will accept things because that's what they've always seen and never question it. And when they see someone who's doing their own thing, I feel they get annoyed because they want to do that too, but don't want all the stuff that goes with it.
So when I hear the stuff about race etc... I understand, but for the majority of my life, I've been getting it from all sides. Some people won't accept me because I'm not Black enough and others won't accept me because I'm Black, period, end of story. And they use preconceived notions and stereotypes to justify what they think and feel instead of getting to really know someone.
At times, it's just too much to think about, you know?
Yeah. I sort of get the same bullshit from people too, being that I am not white. It is too much to think about, but for me I want to know the truth (if there is any or if its even possible). That sucks that you also get it from your own community (to note, I studied a touch of Black American history and literature, and yeah it sucks that you are not considered "Black" enough by others whether in or out of your group). There have been some novels that touched on that, a few authors in particular criticize Urban Lit (not just the stories of course, but how it is perceived in our White man driven world). But yeah, unfortunately we all have to accept that it is life.
In the end, for me, race isn't the biggest issue, because what exactly can it do for you, if you feel attacked on all sides? You don't exactly feel any sort of allegiance to anyone. You feel like an outsider.
So getting back to the original topic of Japanese women and Black men. There's a possibility I can be in a long term relationship with a Japanese woman, Chinese, Black etc... if they know what it's like to feel like an "outsider."
To me, that's deeper than race. If someone can't relate to your story, then why bother? Unless you want to be with someone for the short term where really getting to know them doesn't matter.
Last edited: